After attending four different colleges, meeting and trying to make things work with four different boys along the way, I have decided to share my little life lesson: if you are looking for the love of your life, you probably won't find him/her in college.
Don't get me wrong, there are exceptions to every rule; my own sister met her true love when she was a freshman. But if you haven't met "the one" and everyone says you'll know when you have, don't try to make it work during your college years. If you're trying to hang on to your high school boyfriend, props to you, but be realistic. You're both going to change tremendously in college, especially if you aren't attending the same one.
This change isn't always bad! Sometimes you just realize you grow apart into different people, but that's how it's meant to be; you're meant to change and grow as you go through this leap into the adult world. But if you can't 100% see yourself marrying that person, and they aren't on the same page as you, don't force it. Enjoy yourself. Take time to be single, and I mean actually single. Don't worry about boys, girls, trying to find a new relationship, trying to have someone to always talk to. Just worry about yourself! Find out what you like to do, experiment with new hobbies, new things that will make you happy and possibly mold you into a new, exciting person.
College is a great way to meet people, sure. But keep in mind that for many people it is basically like the live version of Tinder. There are no parents, you have your own bed (and own room during the later years if you're lucky), there are no rules against going out late, staying at someone's place late. There's a reason the walk of shame was basically invented on college campuses. We're all so young too! Remember when you thought being 16 meant you were the shit in high school? Remember when you thought being 18 meant you were an adult? Yeah, well, 18-22 years old still isn't exactly mature adulthood.
Everyone's looking for someone, and I've found that college is the easiest place to find heartbreak. Not to stereotype, but college is generally where boys are just looking for someone to have sex with on the weekends and when they're drunk. Making out with someone doesn't mean anything anymore, and half the time sex means nothing either, it just causes more drama because usually one party is more attached than the other.
Throughout my years I've also seen what this environment can do to girls. They understand how the guys play the game, so girls will either accommodate by being friends with benefits and trying not to care or get attached, or they will resort to head games, pretending they're uninterested, making themselves unavailable, talking to multiple guys at once.
I'm not saying this is a great environment, but I think it should be expected and understood so that naive hearts don't go looking for and expecting to find the love of their lives and then be devastated when their expectations are not met. It's okay to be single, especially in college. It's also okay to have fun in college. It's all about what you're okay with, what you're comfortable with, and if you're not into the hook-up culture, then you don't have to participate in it!
Have fun, be single, enjoy yourself, grow as a person, let college change you into who you're meant to be! The right person is out there doing the same, and when it's time to meet them, you will meet them and you will know because you won't have to try and beat them at their own game. You will find the love you deserve. And it probably won't be in college. And that's okay.
