I should have known better.

I should have let go.

I shouldn't have let the tears dry up by begging for him back.

I should have known that I was being abused.

I should have known that I was a victim of Stockholm Syndrome.

I should have known that I was never loved.

I should have known that every moment I breathed, he was taking advantage of me.

I should have known that my life is important.

I should have known that I mattered.

I should have known that I was battered.

I should have known that I had people who cared right under my nose.

I should have known never to push them away.

I should have known that I was falling hopelessly.

I should have put school first.

I should have called my mother more often.

I should have made an effort to save myself.

I should not have let him torture me.

I should not have drank myself to sleep at 11am to relieve the pain.

I should have gone outside.

I should have gone to class.

I should have cared.

I should have gone home.

I should have admitted I needed help.

I should have had someone to lean on.

I should have escaped my prison.

I should have listened to my parents.

I should never have let him silence me.

I should never have let him use me for his personal gain while I withered away right in front of his eyes.

I should never have talked to a boy with no heart.

I should have told her, though she didn't believe it anyway; her, him; they're the same breed of heartless humans.

I should have locked my doors.

I should have opened the fence that kept me at his every beck and call.

I should have opened my mouth and used my words.

I should not have been silent.

I should have stood up for myself.

I should have tried to escape the first time he hurt me.

I should have known that someone who says they are demonic is someone to run from, run far, far, far away from.

I should have believed that some people were truly bad.

I should not have been so naive.

I should not have let him into my life.

I should have demonized him when he told me about the first girl he raped.

I should have listened to my gut.

I should have waited.

I should have stuck up for everything I believed in.

I should never have let a monster into my life.

I should not have to be afraid every time I leave my house.

I should not have to live in constant fear of ever seeing him again.

I should not have to cut off parts of my world because he ruined them for me.

I should have punched him when he held me down.

I should have called the police the day he almost killed me.

I should have never let it get so far, so far that I became a slave, a slave who spent 24 hours a day in bed crying.

I should not have had to lose two and a half years of my life, two and a half years that my mind cannot process that they existed, two years with no memories, no laughter, no smiles, no safety, no love.

I should have known better.

Oh sweet child inside of me, I should have protected you; I should have saved you. Now you are so broken, and yet you feel so innocent still. You never let your innocence go; it was stolen; there are parts of you that you will never find again. There are things that have forever changed you, forever left you to live differently. You may be wiser, but you never deserved this.

You needed my hand to lift you up and pull you away from the darkness that was him.

I should have known better.

Oh, how I should have known better.