A couple weeks ago I noticed people equating Valentine's Day to “single awareness day,” which got me thinking, how can I help single people reverse their fortunes and bask in the limelight of romantic partnership? The answer was clear: write an article that lets em know precisely why they're single and what they can do to change that unfortunate predicament.
Some stingy singles will say they haven’t "met the right person" yet while others will say they’re just “working on themselves” for the time being. Both of these excuses are defense mechanisms for why they’re ACTUALLY single. If you were single on Valentines this past year, you found yourself this way because you GAVE UP on the last person who has rejected you.
Getting rejected should never be taken personally because, half the time, we reject others purely out of social politics. Even the ones we're interested in. Reason being that rejecting someone is the one act that causes us to appear more irresistible than ever before. People generally want what they can’t have and by making ourselves unattainable, we’re putting a premium on our time and energy while simultaneously elevating our social status.
The good news is that being the rejectee has just as many benefits as being the rejector. The primary benefit of being the rejectee is it significantly lowers the stakes of courtship.
If a girl rejects me, then ALL the pressure is off. I don't have to tiptoe around my words anymore. I have FULL creative freedom to try and get them interested in me. If it’s a mutual agreement that a girl and I both like each other, suddenly the relationship becomes fragile. Every little interaction could cause us to drop the ball on our flirtation and ruin the magic of potential romance. We have to make sure we say the right things and behave in a manner that highlights both of our most outstanding qualities. We're so concerned about "not ruining things", that we put our best foot forward, which is the correct move in most settings. But for relationship building, doing this sets the stage for long-term failure. The goal shouldn't be to put our best foot forward, but our most honest foot forward.
If the foundation of any solid relationship is trust, then being honest with your partner will yield far greater results than trying to be perfect. It’s important to remember that if you want something, you’re going to have to work hard for it. If someone rejects you, it means you’re not smart, fit, clever, or insightful as THEY WANT YOU TO BE.
All you need to do is convince the other person that you have the necessary requirements to land the job. Getting rejected teaches us that we need to improve ourselves if we’d like to be worthy of receiving love from others.
If someone tells us they're not interested, don’t believe them. They're merely proposing a challenge. They want us to fight for their affection and prove we're worthy of their time. The onus is on us to go out and make it happen. As a species, we're rooted in greek mythology and we all subconsciously incorporate the hero’s journey model into our own lives. Being rejected is our call to action. What are we willing to do to overcome this challenge and achieve our goal?
If they want someone that can make a bangin' chicken parmesan, take some introductory cooking lessons If they want someone that they can have deep conversations with, study this guide on how to do that and chat em up the next time you hangout. If they’re really into people that can make em laugh, watch a ton of comedies and go to comedy shows to learn the language, timing and rhythm of humor. If someone doesn’t like us back, that just means we’re not trying hard enough. No one said love was easy and nothing of worth is easily attainable, so let's go out and slay that beast! We have to make ourselves so undeniably fitting that they’ll have no choice but to incorporate us into their lives. Vive l'amour!
