I'm that girl. You know, the one who dated several boys in high school but never for more than several months at a time. I don't like that part of me, but it's still a part of my past and identity no matter what.
Because of this, I've seen many-a-type of man, including the "bad boy," the "momma's boy," the "user and player," the "cocky jock," the "band boy," the "controlling and jealous guy," and the "man-child." Mind you, I haven't dated every single one of these type of men, but I've certainly had my run-ins.At first glance, the inappropriately-dubbed "momma's boy" may seem like a man you should avoid entirely. Get to know him, fine, but don't date him, they say. Your friends and Cosmo will tell you the same things you've heard about this man before. He's too attached to his mother, or he always needs her help and approval.
But they're wrong. At least for me. I've been dating a "momma's boy" for a year now and it's been the most incredible year of my life. Let me tell you why. First off, I wasn't expecting to meet him (a man worth dating and one you can envision a future with, that is). Last summer, I had a fling and it fizzled out. Even before that, during my freshman year I had dated a guy that exhausted me psychologically. But the momma's boy was different and not in a bad way, but in the best way possible.
He knows how to treat a woman (and knows what they want and need).
Because he is close with his mother, he is hyperaware of everything that women need. I'm not claiming he is Superman or Prince Charming, but he's definitely knowledgable. More often than not, he uses that knowledge to his advantage. After all, the first man we love as little girls is our own dad. And what better place to learn to love than our own parents?
He's willing to make sacrifices.
Whether it's taking care of you when you're sick instead of watching the soccer game, or buying you something you've had your eye on, he's very nurturing since it's how he was treated. He grew up watching his mom doing everything for him (not because he isn't independent, but because she just loves him) so now he wants to do everything he can for you.
He knows that a perfect relationship isn't attainable (but that it's worth working toward).
Like I said, this man isn't perfect, but he wants to treat you with respect and manners as his mother taught him. You'll fight and bicker yet work every day toward balancing your personalities and enjoying life together. His expectations for a relationship are realistic.
He genuinely loves you and isn't ashamed to admit it.
Men that are close with their mothers growing up generally learn that love is something to cherish. They're taught that true love is rare, but valuable to find. Because he is a real man, he isn't afraid to tell anyone that he is, in fact, in love. That's a big difference between men and boys. Boys cower at the idea of telling their guy friends he actually "loves" his girlfriend.
His family means something to him and it's honorable.
You might tease him for texting his mom as often as he texts you, but knowing that family is something he sets time aside for is admirable and it will make him a good father. Let's toss aside the expectation that we are supposed to be closer with the parent of the same-sex. Instead, praise him for loving his mother who gave him life and raised him.
Next time you come across a momma's boy, give him a chance and then some. They very well may not rely on their moms to do everything for them. They aren't any less of a man (they're actually even more of one). Let the stereotypical name represent the fact that he and his mom simply have a deep connection. They're attached but, because of it, he'll love you even more.