Being someone who loves all quotes and sayings, there is one that is special to me because it is probably the first saying I remember hearing from when I was very young, so much so that its practically engraved in me. It’s a quote in the Bhagavad Gita that, roughly translated, means “whatever happened is for the good; whatever is happening is for the good; whatever will happen is for the good.” Over the years, this saying has come in the form of a security blanket for me, acting as a small ray of hope to convince myself that what’s meant to happen will happen because it’s for the good.

Recently, one of my friends was trying to convince me that I had to initiate my first conversation with someone. I countered, “If it’s meant to happen, it will.” To which she responded, “Do you just not study for a test because whatever happens is for the best and maybe you’ll just pass the exam?” For a second, I was caught off guard because she brought up a valid point. It made me question myself for the following couple days: should I believe in this concept of destiny?

There are a lot of things in this world we don’t have control over. We don’t have control over how the weather works, how people think and the decisions they make, or the outcomes of certain events. But I have to ask myself, "What is out there stopping us from putting in effort towards something we want to achieve or doing something we’ve always wanted to do?" I leave everything to “the universe/God,” believing that whatever happens was meant for it to happen to me and that I can accept it. However, when things don’t go my way, I am left with the questions: “What if?” "How do I make peace with this concept that has been the foundation of my strength through difficult times while not relinquishing the entire reigns of my life to 'destiny'?"

What I’ve come to understand is that putting in effort is a matter of getting some hope, just like destiny can give me hope. It’s a different kind of hope, though, because you have to put in a lot of courage to get a small glimpse of hope. If the combination of courage, fear, and effort backfires, the pain of the loss may feel a bit worse. Yet aren’t some things worth the gamble? Because how would we ever know? How is trying different from destiny if you can’t see what the future holds in both cases?

This doesn’t mean that tomorrow I’m going to go talk to the person I’ve mentioned in the story with my friend. I’m probably still going to be shy and just run over scenarios in my head where we meet by chance. However, that doesn’t rule out the possibility — albeit a very small chance — that I won’t try and talk to them next week. Maybe one day I’ll get the courage to smile at them because, you know, baby steps.