“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious - the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”
-Albert Einstein
That day was particularly difficult at school. I was not looking forward to riding the bus home along with 50 artificial high schoolers with artificial problems. The rain was coming down as I stepped off the bus and I was looking around for the familiar black sedan with my mom in the driver seat. She was a no show. I trudged through the rain in the general direction of home, eager to wrap myself in the warm sheets of my bed and throw some 90’s music on. But first, I had to give my mom a piece of my mind for not being there and getting me soaked.
I barged into the house with my mad face on, ready to win this time. Just as I was about to question my mom, I froze as I saw random people sitting on my couch with my parents...crying. I walked over to my mom. Her eyes were red and teary and her mouth cringed. Gasping for air, she turned her head and sobbed some more. I stumbled over to my dad, tripping on the edge of the sofa, almost falling. “What’s wrong? What happened? Please tell me!” I demanded. His body gently rocked back and forth, and his cheeks were stained with the endless stream of tears from his glossy eyes, enduring the emotional pain that continued to engulf him. I charged the stranger on the couch. “TELL ME!” I yelled. She whispered, breathing heavy between each word. She held my arms to keep me from my knees buckling. Gone? What did she mean gone? Did he move away? She muttered some more. “Gone forever. The WHOLE family. They are with God now.” I felt the wet hot tears fill up my eyes, my throat closed tight and each word pitched higher than the last in an effort to squeak out the words that were bottled up inside me. Finally, the tears broke free and flowed down my face like a river escaping the restrictions of a dam. I sat there, arms wrapped tightly around myself in a hug.
He was the one I spilled my feelings to. The one I hung out with and played mischievous pranks with. The friend who always made me laugh, and I could be myself around. The one who was the other half of me. The one—who was gone forever. I lost it. I lost my composure. My grades, insensitivity, words, compassion and determination diminished. He promised me that we would be friends forever. Why did he have to go? Why couldn't it be someone else’s best friend? Did I do this? My values, ideas, and beliefs subsided.
A couple days later, I was back in school my teacher put up Einstein’s quote as a “warm up.” Big, black letters attacked the polished whiteboard. RESPOND IN YOUR OWN WORDS. My hand painted words with my pencil on paper, and took the chance to write what I felt, without knowing what I was doing. I took a deep breath in and perceived that this was not the person I was. I had to achieve goals, meet people and learn more. I couldn’t stop learning. The day I would give up learning, was the day I would die. Die—like my best friend. I had to live for the both of us. Be successful, learn, enjoy, fight and love for the both us. I couldn’t give up now.
There is one thing every person has their own perspective for. Some fear it. Some welcome it. Others say that it's in the hands of the Almighty, nature, or its more of a scientific failure in bodies. I learned that no matter who, what, when, where, or how; every person and thing arrives at it—death. Why will I die? Why did he/she die? Why? Why? Why? I realized that we, as humans, ask these questions to find solutions to the mysteries in life and to relieve the sorrow, misery and anger derived from the science and art of death. Yet, many questions still remain a mystery. As Einstein’s quote states: “The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious - the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”
I learned that no matter how mysterious the future is, and how it may make me feel, it can change. However, what I do and think in the present, is the certain thing that matters most in life.
