Sky’s out thighs out, am I right gentlemen!? It seems as if men these days are just oozing confidence and wicked sex appeal; as the weather gets hotter not only do the drinks get colder…but the shorts get shorter. I, for one, am not complaining, but I do think we need to lay down some ground rules. So fellas, pay close attention. This one’s for you.

1. Hair. Yall are gonna need to control your ish. Chubbies are an absolute no go if you have a bad pair of leg sweaters. No one wants to see that…let alone accidentally rub up on it when all they were trying to do was squeeze by you. Now, I know you may get hot in regular shorts, but that’s just something you’re going to have to live with. Hey man, we all have our own problems. Yours are just…gorilla legs.

2. Tan. All I'm gonna say is…if you have more than one skin tone on each leg, stick to pants. I don’t care if it’s 100 degrees out, we don’t need you walking around making a fool of yourself.

3. Equipment. Yeah that’s right. You know what I’m talking about. Let’s be adult about this. Some boys are…”a little better equip" than others. That being said, it’s important that you men understand that the average pair of chubbies falls about middle to upper thigh. So, as I'm sure you all do anyway, know your limit! We don’t need to take any chances of…anything “popping out” for a surprise visit. You’re at your sister’s graduation party man, keep it PG. NO FULL FRONTAL!

4. Weight. If it fits it ships, am I right. Do you bro. But I’d max out at anything higher than…let’s just go with 300 to give ourselves some wiggle room…”figuratively”?

5. Age. If the digits of your age add to a number greater than 15, go put on the same pair of cargo pants you wear to Applebee’s and bingo every Saturday.

6. Complementary Bro Tank. Judgement call, I’d say. If you like looking like a walking female cleansing product or a frat boy who hates himself, then hey why not add a backwards Vineyard Vines hat, too?

7. Boat shoes. Are you really fronting in a pair of chubbies if you aren’t wearing Sperry’s with them? You can't wear one without the other, dude.

8. The Ladies. So you know that super slick move you guys do when a hot girl is about to walk by? The one where you look back and wait for her to walk in your line of sight? Yeah..us girls aren’t that smooth. If you’re strutting your stuff in a pair of American flag chubbies and a muscle shirt, you’ll have girls swooning left and right; and man will it be obvious.

So back to my question, short shorts on men, yay or nay?

Umm, yes please! Who doesn’t love a good show? Whether you need to cover your eyes or grab some water, short shorts get a “yay” from this girl!