When I was little, the doctor told my parents I’d probably wind up as a 4’ 7” adult.

Naturally, my parents freaked out. My dad had almost been denied from military service at 5’ 1”. My mom could just reach the gas pedal at 4’ 11”. How was I supposed to operate in the world at 4’ 7”? In a flurry of more doctors’ appointments, blood tests I almost passed out in, and IVs, it was decided I was going to take growth hormones. I got my own injector - needleless since I’m squeamish - to be used every night. And for three plus years, that’s what I did.

I stopped growing by the time I got to high school. The final result? 4’ 11”(almost). There are 5th graders who are taller than I am. It’s just become a part of my life, as simple as jumping on stools and counters to reach high places. I haven’t thought about it in a long time.

Recently, I got to go on a tour of a bio-engineering factory. At one point, we were shown a new design for a type of leg brace, called an external fixator, meant to correct leg length deformities. Offhandedly, our tour guide also mentioned that people had been using it cosmetically to make themselves taller.

The idea was both repulsive and intriguing. I took to Google to see what else I could find. It turns out that the surgical procedure was invented in the 1950’s, and while it’s had some advancement over time, it’s still extremely painful and filled with potential long term effects. It involves breaking the bone, slowly separating the fragments and waiting for new bone to grow in.

The procedure’s gotten some positive press over the past few years, but it’s fairly misrepresentative. The people who come out of these lengthy procedures, glowing with self-confidence, only feel that way because society made them ashamed of their height in the first place. Cosmetic surgery that’s based on the desire to be beautiful should never be seen as a positive thing because it puts people’s lives on the altar of societal norms.

Is this hypocritical coming from a girl whose parents had her inject hormones every night, trying to be taller too? Probably, but the key differences are in the risk factor and the intent.

One patient compared the procedure to getting braces. It’s true that the intent there is the same. But the risks of surgery and anesthesia far outweigh the risks of having metal on your teeth. As for me, while I couldn’t make my own decisions at that point of time, my parents were concerned with how I would function in the world. The intent there is different than trying to change what I look like. They don’t care if I’m fun-size or a giant. It was their unconditional positive regard that taught me how to be beautiful.

Beauty is having confidence in who you are, as cliché as that may sound. And if you need a surgery to make that happen, then I can’t judge and say it’s a bad decision.