Ahem. Please open your (insert company/organization here) new hire manual to the chapter, page, paragraph, or, I don't know, sentence dedicated to workplace harassment, and let's begin.
Your female coworker is:
- A person who works with you
- A person who works near you
-A person who is being paid to be near you
- A person who may be contractually obligated to interact with you
-A person
Your female or feminine-identifying coworker is not:
-Your mom
-Your girlfriend
-Your younger sister
-The love interest in a novel that John Green is writing about your life
-Your mom
-Your therapist
-The "secretary" in your "group" project
-Responsible for your work
-Responsible for "team morale"
-Your babysitter
-Responsible for your emotional well-being
-Your manic pixie dream girl sidekick who teaches you to "take chances" and falls for your nerdy charm
-Your mom
-"Just better at this stuff"
-There to make you feel good about yourself
We are here because we are paid to be, not to make your job easier or more pleasant.
As women, we are expected to smile and apologize. We are expected to be nice. If we don't meet these expectations in our workplaces, they can quickly become toxic or unsafe spaces that we are essentially powerless to remove ourselves from because, again, we are paid to be there. Do not use our mandatory niceness as an excuse or opportunity to take advantage of our position. Our kindness and civility is not an offer to do your job for you or emotionally manage your life. It is not an invitation to stand too close to us and ask personal questions. It is necessary and exhausting invisible labor that we are not paid for. Start recognizing it and stop exacerbating it.