When I was in middle school, I remember singing along to Sara Bareilles’ “Love Song," loving her defiant attitude and playful melody that made the song such a great hit. I sang (and cried) my heart out to “Gravity," I danced to “King of Anything," gained confidence listening to “Brave," and the list goes on and on. Sara Bareilles has incredible talent and has written and recorded powerful, heart-felt, and relatable songs for over ten years. But, never has any of her songs, or any songs of other artists for that matter, made me numb from beautiful self-reflection like her newest song, “She Used to Be Mine”.

Sara Bareilles wrote “She Used to Be Mine” for an upcoming Broadway musical version of the 2007 movie Waitress. She is writing the entire soundtrack for the musical and it and will be released as her fourth studio album entitled What’s Inside: Songs from Waitress. The song was released as a single in September and the official music video was released just last week. Since the song was written to reflect the feelings of the character in the musical, it is not necessarily indicative of Sara’s own thoughts about herself, but it is written in such a way that anyone can relate and will immediately be pulled in.

The first time I watched the video was also the first time I heard the song, and my heart was moved to an extent that I was not expecting. The video is beautifully simple and Sara’s voice is incredible, but the lyrics of the song mixed with these two factors make it unbelievably powerful.

The very first lines of the song are, “It's not simple to say that most days I don't recognize me”. This is a feeling I’ve felt all too often as I’ve gotten older and have had more experiences in life. I’m constantly changing, from the things I do to the people I interact with, and this is a good thing. However, sometimes I have recognized that I simply do not feel like myself. I feel uneasy, uncomfortable, searching for peace, and as I reflect on why I may be feeling this way, it is almost always because I have somehow lost a piece of myself. Most often, this happens when I forget or get “too busy” to include God and prayer throughout my days, and not only when I’m falling asleep. It also happens when I try to act like someone I’m not or when I take on much more than I can handle and try to act as if nothing is wrong. Whatever the case, I always feel most at peace when I am being honest with who I am.

After this opening line, the song continues on, referencing the storyline of the musical while also remaining completely relatable to anyone who may listen. Sara sings “I'm not anything like I used to be,” but then starts to reminisce about the girl who she was before she started to pretend like someone she is not. The first chorus goes, “She's imperfect but she tries / She is good but she lies / She is hard on herself / She is broken and won't ask for help / She is messy, but she's kind / She is lonely most of the time / She is all of this mixed up / And baked in a beautiful pie / She is gone but she used to be mine”. These words are all too relatable to me, and undoubtedly countless other listeners as well. Listening to these simple, raw lyrics made me realize how beautiful it is to be imperfect but real. So many times I try to claim that I have it all under control. I like to pretend that my life is perfect and I don’t have any struggles or complaints or things that are going wrong. I often feel that if I am not seen as “perfect”, I’ll be seen as a failure. If I make a mistake, it will just prove that I am not capable of handling whatever comes my way in life. We need to give ourselves credit for the good we do and forgive ourselves for the times we fall short. We’re not able to be perfect, and that is perfectly okay. All of our qualities, the lovely and the imperfect, make us who we are.

After this incredibly moving chorus, Sara moves on to the second verse, and the emotion just keeps getting deeper. It beings with, “It's not what I asked for / Sometimes life just slips in through a back door / And carves out a person / And makes you believe it's all true”. Song lyrics simply don’t get more real than this. We never ask to be completely changed and lose ourselves; it’s often the result of some unforeseen hardship that shakes us and we feel as if our only way of coping with the situation is to put up walls or to abandon the things that make our souls delight in order to be accepted and able to move on with our lives. The worst part about this is that many times, we feel as if we are becoming a worse version of ourselves and that we are no longer good enough as we are. This just makes the cycle continue, until we learn to love ourselves for who we are again.

After this verse, Sara moves on to the second and final chorus, where she imagines finally being herself again, a strong and real version of who she knows she can be. She sings this version of herself will be one “Who’ll be reckless just enough / Who'll get hurt but / Who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised / And gets used by a man who can't love”. These words absolutely tugged at my heart with immense force. Not only do they reflect a real confidence in ourselves, but they also reflect the fact that we’re going to get hurt at times, but we have the strength to overcome these trying moments. One of the most common struggles that cause people to change is when they have their heart broken. Getting “used by a man who can’t love” is perhaps one of the most devastating things that can happen to one’s heart. My first real heartbreak changed me in ways I never thought I would have changed. It was the most real pain I had ever felt, and I definitely lost myself for a little while, but in the end I discovered a new strength and ability to overcome struggles in my life and ended up growing as a person. While heartbreak can destroy us for a little while, it gives us the incredible opportunity to rebuild ourselves and become stronger than we were before.

This chorus ends with the words, “And then she'll get stuck and be scared / Of the life that's inside her / Growing stronger each day / 'Til it finally reminds her / To fight just a little / To bring back the fire in her eyes / That's been gone but it used to be mine”. These are empowering, striking words. Every time I have lost myself, I am eventually reminded of the person I truly am and my desire to return back to her grows stronger as my strength and confidence in who I am, grows stronger. I may not be perfect, but the more I am true to myself and ignore what the rest of the world is calling me to be, I am able to live joyously and full of passion.

Sara Bareilles wrote a song that stopped me in my tracks, made me reflect about who I am and what I have gone through, and fell in love with the idea of authenticity all over again.

The best way I can describe this song is as an honest, raw, beautiful look at our own hearts. It is an empowering love letter to our true selves.

We’re imperfect, but we try our best. Deep down we’re good, but sometimes we make mistakes and lie. We’re far too hard on ourselves. Our hearts are broken and aching but we’re too afraid or don’t know how to ask for help. We don’t have everything under control all the time, but we are kind to others. We’re often lonely, but we pretend we’re fine. We are all of our perfect imperfections mixed together to form something beautiful. We didn’t try to lose ourselves. We had no control over what life would do, and we coped the best way we could at the time. We know now how strong we can be, and we have a fire inside our beautiful souls.

Don’t forget to do yourself a favor and check out the video below!