Let me preface this by saying that I am not the perfect husband or partner, by an extreme long-shot. I'm very young, and even though me and my wife are approaching our fourth anniversary (that's crazy!), I've still so much to learn.
And I am also not the most "huggy" person there is. I'd rather shake your hand, and please do not get too close to me when you're talking.
But I know I love her.
And of the many things I've learned so far in our very short journey, one that has remained so intensely in my mind each and every day is her need to be held. Tightly.
I didn't discover this because of her prescribing her need to be before we were married, nor did I ask. This need or desire also isn't related to physical touch either (which so happens to be her least prominent love language, while it's either my number 1 or number 2).
So how can being held matter so much to someone who doesn't need or desire the physical sense of things for comfort?
I'm not sure. I don't even think she knows fully. She says wonderful things like I'm her comfort zone or she feels safe, which make me smile. But there's got to be more to it, and I don't even know where to start to finish.
I guess what comes back to me (and the reason I'm writing this and I hope you are reading) is the ever-present feeling to never deny her a few minutes of being held. Life is hell; it really is. And as her partner and leader, how could I ever deny her this feeling of comfort and security, no matter how busy I am?
So hug and hold your girl, as long as you can and as often as you can.
Paul talks about this union between man and woman as "some great mystery." Genesis and Jesus both describe a man leaving his father and mother and "cleaving" or joining with his wife and becoming one. One person. One body. One soul. One partnership.
And, to me, nothing signifies one better than a hug like this, where two bodies literally become one for a few meaningful minutes.