Recently, I read a quote. And it's not even that life changing, or enlightening, or anything of that sort. But it made me realize something. It made me think about what God had planned for me, and for everyone else, and the rest of the world.
One Smile Can't Change The World,
But Your Smile Changes Mine.
Really not that important of a quote. It's just not. There's not sudden enlightenment you get from reading it. There isn't one of those "EVERYTHING FROM CHAPTER TWO OF MY LIFE MAKES SENSE NOW". And there wont be. That's not how love works. That's not how life works. But that quote makes me realize something.
God (or Fate, or Coincidence, or whomever, I'm going with God, because I got an angel) has a person for you. Someone you will meet in your life at one point or another, and suddenly your lonely excruciating existence, will stop hurting. You'll stop feeling that ragged hole in your chest where a heart should be, and you'll start realizing your a person again. You'll start realizing that, even if you're a scarred and horribly messed up person inside, as long as you have that person by your side. You'll make it through. You'll be okay. Because they can simply smile at you, and all the grief, all the pain, all the heartache of past love, or wrong choices, slowly fades away.
That's not to say you'll be walking down the street and SHAZAM!* you feel better than life itself because you saw a girl, or guy. Scars and wounds aren't like that. It will take time. There are somethings you won't talk about until you're old and gray, and you're so wrinkled it's a little difficult to determine where the saggy skin stops and the laugh lines start. But that's the beauty of life, and that significant other, that other half of your heart.
She, or he, isn't going to relieve you instantly of everyone. It's a matter of trust, and slowly handing out pieces of your soul. I do that through my writing. And it's a good thing too, because my girlfriend is more than willing to read all of it, and piece it all together, and find out all the broken shattered pieces in each scene, each character, that make up my soul. And she keeps them, though the stories she may or may not hand back with red ink dripping from them, but I'm not complaining. The point is, it's not something you get quickly.
That relief is earned through a number of years, but the thing about it is what it makes you feel. It makes you feel like a better person, like you should be a better person. And that's what I'm getting at.
God has that person in your life for a reason. God gave you him, or her, because no matter what, that person makes you become a better person. And I think that's God's solution to the world. The right person, makes you better. Not perfect. Not flawless, but better.
God isn't going to make the world perfect. That's not his plan, and that's not how he wants us to learn. He lets us find our own screw ups, and smash our face right into a wall. But he's there to pick us up and point us in the right direction. And that person he puts into our life, helps motivate us along the way. They give us a reason to get better, to really fill into that spot of what we're supposed to be.
A relationship isn't.... it will never be, and is never supposed to be, someone clinging to the other, holding them back. It's not ever supposed to be a state of stagnation. If that person isn't giving you a reason to better yourself, then they're not the person for you. My girlfriend makes me want to be better for her everyday, whether she knows it or not. She makes me want to study, to write, to sing and laugh and cry, and really be who I am, and try to become a better person.
That's why God gave me her. She's there for my good parts. And she's also there for my bad parts, like when I know I'm going to die because my exams are going to string me up and hang me off fourth division (fourth floor for you civilians). For when I think the world is crashing down, she holds it up and puts it all back together for me, and tells me it's going to be okay.
God won't give you someone you have to babysit. He's not going to give you someone who holds you back, that's not what that person is there for. He will give you someone that makes you be the best person you can be. Someone who cares for you, in their own special way, and makes sure that you do the best you can, at whatever you're doing. That's how love works.
It's not gifts. It's not money. It's not a position, or a ring, or a graduation present, or anything like that. Love isn't words, or sex, or anything of the sort. Love isn't something you can easily express in words or gifts, or sometimes even deeds. Love is expressed through time, and investment. Trust. Giving and receiving. And knowing that the person you're dating, is the person that you want to grow up with, live with, get married to, learn together with, have kids with, and wake up with every single day for the rest of your life.
That's the kind of person God has set in your life. I found mine. She may have been hiding in a book, reading century old English (you think I'm kidding, Canterbury Tales my friend), but I found her. She is absolutely amazing and I love her with all my heart.