There are many ways to describe growing up with one parent. It sucks, but it isn't always that bad. I never expected to lose my father the way I did. One day I woke up and he was gone. Now in order to talk to him, I have to go sit next to a headstone. One thing my mother never did was give up. She didn't have to step up and take on both roles, but she did. So this is for my mother who is also my father.
It was a huge change for both of us. My mother never thought she'd have to do it alone, and I never thought I would have to grow up without my father around. She knew what she had to do to keep our family together. All roles are usually equal in a marriage. My mom did laundry, cooked, cleaned. My dad screwed around in the garage, took me fishing all the time, and cut the lawn, upon many other things. When my dad was around my mom never had to do any of those things because he took care of them, no questions asked. He enjoyed himself while he did them. My mom absolutely hates cutting the lawn. I don't know if its the smell of the grass itself, the sound the lawn mower makes when she runs things over, or what, but she still forced herself to do it. She took me fishing. No, not in a pond for Sunnys, but on a boat for Bluefish. She even used to bait the hook.
Sometimes I sit here and think about what life would be like if my father had never died. What would be different? Would he still take me fishing? Who would cut the lawn? Would he still be adding endless amounts of useless junk to his 'mancave'? Maybe. I don't know. There is one thing I do know, though. Through this journey, I have gained a best friend. And I owe her a huge thank you.
Mom, there aren't enough words. I can't thank you enough for making one of the hardest decisions of your life. For stepping up when you didn't have to. You could've given up and let everything crumble, but you didn't. You've filled the void of Daddy being gone, though there will always be an empty space in my heart where his used to be, you have made it that much easier. Thank you for being my mother and my father. I love you.
