Just recently, a photo floated up on my Facebook timeline and made me a bit upset. The image read, “My babe is my babe. Therefore don’t touch my babe, hug my babe, talk to my babe, smile at my babe, look at my babe, or grab my babe. Got it?” I was momentarily content with the message until I reached the part about not talking to their significant other. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with a conversation or verbal exchange with other human beings. Even if they are my significant other and I am jealous, I wouldn’t prevent them from speaking to others.
Our world has this idea that we need to be jealous and protective of our partners. In order to prevent cheating, we must prevent them from even speaking to others. How is that logical? One of the most important aspects of relationships is trust. If you don’t trust your partner implicitly, something is wrong. Trust is a cornerstone of romantic and platonic relationships. Without it, it will crumble. It is not your job to ensure the security of your relationship. If you cheat, the security is compromised, but it is not your duty to keep a tight leash on your partner. They have to make a decision to stay faithful and if they choose to deny it, it is their fault.
Despite my lack of a significant other, I can tell you this immediately: if I decided to date someone, I would implicitly trust them to be faithful. Because I am loyal to the relationship, they will be too. If they decide to cut ties and cheat, that is not my fault. That is theirs for not putting enough effort into the relationship and not putting enough emotional stock in the two of you.
What happened to trust between two people in a relationship? The idea of an open relationship is exempt for obvious reasons, but even that sort of relationship has to have some sort of trust network.
In the case of an exclusive relationship, exclusivity usually means both participants are committed to that one person and will not date, court, or see other people outside of that relationship. If that is what is implied, it makes no sense to have such a jealousy complex that leads to phone searching, Facebook stalking, senseless arguments, and low standards. If two people are genuinely committed to each other, there should be no doubt about the other's fidelity.
Romantic relationships hold so much promise when both participants are committed to each other and trust the other. Relationships mean very little without a foundation of trust.
