So, for anyone who knows me and/or follows me, I tend to post a lot of selfies, body pictures, self care videos, and physique updates. Yes, I get compliments, and shoutouts, along with a few randoms who I typically ignore. However, I have noticed that there has been a lot of questioning and side comments that what I'm doing is for attention, or why I feel the need to post pictures like that for everyone to see.
Now, maybe I have not been so clear in my captions, and comments. Maybe I have been a little blunt. But I figured I never really needed to give anyone an explanation for the million dollar "Why?" question. But, here I am giving you a very clear understanding.
For those of you who think I do it for attention, I feel sorry that your mind is that judgemental to assume such a typical justification. However, we are human, and most of us feel the need to assume answers to questions we are too afraid to ask.
It's not about getting compliments or reassurance. It's about promoting body positivity, strength, and self love. I have been through enough to realize that there are girls out there struggling with many of those issues. And I know that because many girls have messaged me, asking for help and advice. I post pictures, write articles, and open up myself and my life for the ones who are holding on to hope for themselves so that they can learn to be happy with who they are.
Sharing my story has not been easy. If I wrote this a year ago I would be 100% against anyone knowing what I have been and continue to be struggling with. But YOU, reading this, may be struggling with something that you are convinced will never pass.
~ ~ YOU, having a hard time accepting yourself, eating a salad and working out at the gym for hours upon hours. YOU are not living. YOU are consistently weighing yourself everyday to see if you're losing weight because the number you see is too high. And I say this with concern because I was once where you were. I once woke up everyday and looked at myself in the mirror with disappointment because I felt it was not enough. And then one day I ended up in hospital because it was more than enough.
Never will I step on a scale ever again. Your weight is just a made up number that someone came up with to decide the capacity of your body for medical purposes because somehow it's important to know according to society. YOU are healthy. YOU are strong. Your body does not have to be put through hell to be loved.
And I know it is hard, and I know it is tempting to squeeze your arms and suck in your stomach so hard that you can't breathe. But you can't live like that.
There is no need to freak out if you miss a day at the gym. It is OK to take a break. Go for the right reasons and never force yourself. When I start being corrupted by negative thoughts and tell myself that I NEED to go to the gym is when I really NEED to take a break. You don't NEED to go to the gym. You should WANT to go for personal reasons and goals. Never teach your mind that you NEED to force yourself to workout. You don't NEED to go on a diet. You don't NEED to stay away from sugary or fattening foods (unless your life is threatened by any of this). Anything you do should be a WANT. You should WANT to do all of those things to better your mental and physical health. The only thing you NEED is to take care of yourself and keep your mind in the right place.
You need to start healing. You need to start growing. Because one day you're gonna wake up, eighty two years old, wondering why you spent your whole life worrying about things that don't matter. Wondering why you never had the pleasure of eating that donut, or enjoyed a pizza with your friends.
Trust me on that. Give yourself the opportunity to grow, and be strong and healthy. Give your mind the opportunity to experience and understand. ~ ~
I will always continue to spread love and happiness to anyone who may need it. I do what I do for a purpose, with a purpose. That purpose is only for those who understand.
You are a queen.
Flaunt your body.
Be kind to yourself.
You are a warrior.