Everyday I lay my head I ask myself who am I? Today I'm taking this question online to share my life. Since I came to the U.S.A I have been living a fake life. Growing up going to middle school was hard for me, people make fuck of me because I couldn't speak American language; so everyday I come home I listen to music hip pop, rap, Reggie, love and gospels. I was attending private school called St.Peters. Everyday I go to school people make fun of me. One time I was in gym class we was playing soccer and they saw that I was the best, then I started making friends. At the end of the school year I moved to Woodlynne, New Jersey. There I went to middle school full of black people who have different form of tongues. I tried so hard to be like them. Lunch time I seat in a corner by myself with no friends, I get teased and laughed at when I read in class to a point every time I'm in English class and we reading a book I was reading with everyone so dat when it come to my point to read? I can just read it smoothly; but it didn't happen so. I was pronouncing words and the was asking what was I reading and I begin to sweat. This went on for couple months. One day I was standing by the corner I always stand everyday at lunch and everybody interact with their friends and families a boy came up to me and start to trash talk. He began to bully me. One day I decide to make to there place and at least try to interact with my class mates to make friends, he came up to me said something to me and I walked away. He came back and then swang at me and we started fighting. I got friends and people started to know me. Deep down I was missing a piece of me. Before coming here I feel in love with a girl in Africa and she was always in my mine n for so many years I try to replace her. As the years go by I start to look her up on social media but nvr found a match. I told myself I can never find love again. That all changed when I ended up having a girlfriend whom I loved and cared for but every time stuffs go bad I think about my ex in Africa I nvr let go of her. My ex that I was with also had insecurities from her passed and depression from her parents. I was also fighting my own Demond's. We was always arguing but I nvr sat or even ask her why she was been the way she acting. Everyday we argue that I'm not doing things right, I'm not a better person, she crying and I don't care. We was arguing everyday that is got so toxic. She was controlling. I cared about her and I was willing to let go on pass n look into the future but I nvr forced myself to do so which lead to a break up.