Ahhh, Summer B; a spunky, optimistic, wild, and overzealous young adult’s favorite two words. As the excitement of new-found adulthood flutters in every college freshman’s stomach on move-in day, the only goal in mind is fully experiencing your first fraternity party. You know, the one with the cute, buff guys who, rumor has it, were kicked off campus for a scenario involving copious amounts of white powder? Anyway, you’re sure to meet a bunch of sorority girls looking for their newest recruits, and you’re (almost) guaranteed to make a mess of yourself, just make sure you look good doing it. So, before you go out and spill that shot all over your nice new low-cut blouse that makes your boobs look “fan-f*ck*ng-tastic,” here are four essential tips:

1. Put your phone case back on. Right now. Do it now.
   Haven’t you heard? Not having your iPhone in a case is just as dangerous as unprotected sex, and while this is your first night of college, baby making is definitely not on your list of things to do. You’re about to enter the life of constantly insufficient funds; don’t break your $600 phone the first night here, please.
2. Bring your debit card and cash.
   Oh you have a DD? Wait, people still do that? I can almost guarantee your designated driver is not going to be the designated driver by the end of the night. You’re going to be too scared to take those shots alone, so you’ll look to your trusty roommate holding the keys, flash those puppy eyes lined in mascara, and hand her the shot glass. You’ll start feeling good, and before you know it, you don’t know how the hell you’re getting home and don’t even care. You are just hell-bent on getting that hot guy in the tank top’s digits. So go ahead and download the Uber App. Now.
3. Did someone say "hot guy?!"
   Go for it! What are you waiting for? Don’t sit in the corner, cheap mixed drink you scooped out of a trashcan in hand and not take advantage of this moment. All the teen television series you watched in high school have mentally prepared you for this; Carpe Diem! Would Blair Waldorf sit in the corner while her friends left hand-in-hand with the hotties from the bar? NO. She wouldn’t, so why should you? Throw that jungle juice back, wipe your mouth, reapply your lipstick, move those freshly shaved legs, and go get him.
4. Snapchat = Recap
   Your Snapchat is sure to be 200+ seconds long. Why stop now? Keep snapping. You’ll thank yourself in the morning when you wake up in your dorm bed (hopefully your bed and not your neighbor’s) and can’t find your shoes or purse, but you find an oversized T-Shirt with Greek letters on it but have no clue where it came from. Open up that Snapchat story and you’ll see that epic beer pong game you and your roommate crushed. You’ll see that perfectly classy but a little sassy Greek you met who convinced you to go rush, you’ll see that extremely pushy frat guy who kept handing you more beer and you’ll see your bad a$$ dance moves that eventually earned you the title of “that girl."

You’ll probably wake up the next morning with a little bit of regret and an even bigger headache. Smile. Despite the knots in your stomach, which developed while replaying your Snapchat story, you are a champ. You handled those shots like a seasoned veteran; your dance moves would’ve made Beyoncé proud, and your Uber driver gave you a discount. But that’s not all; you’ve got a new text message from “Hot Frat Guy in a Tank Top.” Congrats and welcome to college.