This article contains spoilers for "Game of Thrones" through Season 6, Episode 9 and for "A Song of Ice and Fire" through "A Dance With Dragons" and spoiler chapters for "The Winds of Winter."

Also this article discusses certain events of the series, including rape, that might be triggering to some individuals.

So after the colossal dump that was last week (I mean what's been the point of Braavos these past two seasons) this week it seems that we've gotten action finally. I mean, thank the Seven, amiright? Finally after nine episodes at least we're getting something.

Basically we get 90% of this season's CGI budget as well as BastardBowl and some Meereenese plot. But still, at least it's something.

Also like a bunch of character deaths so those'll be fun to talk about.

Plot 1: Meereen

Alright so the first of two plots we get is some more plodding development in Meereen.

If you recall from last week the Masters of the other Slaver Cities in Slaver's Bay have attacked Meereen despite being allowed to continue the practice of slavery for seven more years. Just as this happened, through a Drogon ex Machina (or maybe just very reliable Über), Daenerys is dropped off conveniently in the pyramid so she can see the shit Tyrion did to her city.

I personally feel it's very important to mention that Tyrion has done nothing productive (or even good) all season. He's been drunk all season. Furthermore he definitely explained slavery to the former slaves and talked down to them on multiple occasions. Also he definitely peer pressured them into drinking. Honestly he's one of the most intolerable characters this season and I still cannot believe they killed of Barristan Selmy just to get Tyrion there sooner. (Cue the "Creatively it made sense to us, because we wanted it to happen line" that Benioff and Weiss gave in an interview last season)

So the scene opens with Tyrion mansplaining at Daenerys a whole bunch. It feels like Tyrion honestly has no way of talking to people without sounding like a condescending asshole. I mean, let's be real, Tyrion has yet to talk to someone this season as if he's of equal-or-lesser status than he is (including Daenerys who's "not a politician, [she's] a queen").

Tyrion reminds me of some guy who took one Women's Studies class and now thinks he can lecture women on feminism. I mean he basically was a privileged (white) lord lecturing some former slaves about the experience of slavery. That literally happened on this show. And yet everyone eats up every thing that he's said since he came out of his mother's womb. This season though, he's been exceptionally bad.

Then we get what can only be the theme of the season: choosing violence. The moment from last episode when Cersei chooses violence was such a hyped moment that it was kind of a let down last week when it amounted to just the Mountain murdering one individual. But literally everyone this season has "chosen violence" that it's on level with the theme of revenge from last season.

So in this scene Daenerys chooses violence and literally threatens to burn down Astapor and Yunkai as well as crucify all the masters ever.

And then Tyrion's like, "lmao I heard it from Jaime but like your dad was mad enough to plant Wildfire all over King's Landing and was gonna burn everyone in the city. Maybe you shouldn't be a crazy fire tyrant and like kill everyone...just sayin' " I mean this has to be seeding the "rumors" from last week right? This is literally just seeding the fact that Cersei may try to burn down King's Landing, right? I mean it's not been subtle. Jaime literally said that Cersei would burn down cities last episode. SO JUST TO BE SUPER CLEAR SOMEONE IS GOING TO BURN DOWN A CITY AND IT'S PROBABLY CERSEI.

Well, whatever, then we have the discussion for terms of surrender. And the masters assume that Dany is surrendering and Dany's like "lmao bitch no way" and suddenly the dragons are miraculously all trained?

Daenerys has been back for, what, twelve hours max? There's no way that Viseryon and Rhaegal are trained. Especially since there's been no one to train them since the beginning of the season.

Also Drogon isn't trained, he's been on his own since before the other two were chained up.

Also isn't it laughable that the dragons hadn't gotten out yet? Tyrion let them go like eight episodes and they somehow haven't found their way out of the pyramid? How do they eat? Where did they go? They're just conveniently waiting in the pyramid wallowing in their own non-existence until Daenerys is around? Cool.

I mean the CGI dragons look pretty cool, it's pretty obvious they're a bigger chunk of the CGI budget now than they were in years past. But like this is basically a whole battle of CGI, right? CGI tiny city, CGI dragons, CGI ships? I literally just watched a computer program wage war on itself.

Then we see some brutal murder in front of the city where the Sons of the Harpy (didn't know they were still a thing) are murdering some civilians. And then Dothraki ex Machina. Honestly this episode (and season, really) has been just full of ex machinas.

I mean all this really implies is that either A.) Dragons travel at a flight speed that is just slightly slower than an entire Khalasar so that Dany arrived exactly twelve hours before they did or B.) Dany was really close to Meereen (and not in the Dothraki sea) when they found Drogon.

Neither makes sense. They're both ridiculous. But like there's no logical way for the Khalasar to be able to arrive now.

I guess the other way is that Dany kept pace with the Khalasar, but then like honestly how long has passed?

I mean Daenerys then burns like a lot of people with dragonfire and the masters surrender so yay? I guess this battle is solved already. That's cool.

When we make it back to Meereen for the second (and last) scene of the episode it appears that Theon and Asha have arrived.

I mean that's cool and all, but when? Suddenly I'm just supposed to accept that they're there after this huge sea battle that they played absolutely zero role in.

There's literally no aftermath for this huge battle, suddenly the Ironborn are just there.

Tyrion does an awful lot of talking for Daenerys which is annoying (and all his character ever does) but like whatever.

There's some subtle flirting between Asha and Daenerys (PIRATEQUEEN OTP jk -- but like honestly it will probably happen because this is HBO).

Honestly the worst part of this scene is the fact that Daenerys literally has to confirm everything with Tyrion despite the fact that Tyrion has literally failed at doing anything right this season.

Honestly the past two seasons in Meereen have been so awful that I can't deal. This current season was just a rehash of last season except it starred Tyrion instead of Daenerys. I don't know why we couldn't have gotten Quentyn and like Daenerys's actual arc as opposed to whatever garbage white savior nonsense we've gotten these two seasons.

I'm more disappointed with the lack of Tyrion's arc, to be honest. Tyrion has a very important emotional arc throughout "A Dance with Dragons" and I'm sad that the foundation of that was undercut so Tyrion could literally just be "the gift" last season and then behave like a Frat Boy on Spring Break this entire season.

The writing this season has been terrible, but honestly the worst thing that Benioff and Weiss do is write shoddy character arcs that completely undermine any sort of character development.

No one in this show has developed in seasons. And even like tiny bits of development are inconsistent.

Alright, now onto the goriest scenes in "Game of Thrones" yet.

It's time for the BastardBowl.

Plot 2: BastardBowl

Can we all agree that despite the fact that the battle was bloody and ultimately satisfying, it largely makes no practical sense in the course of the narrative.

The first BastardBowl scene is just sort of a meeting between the sides. Which is fine, but it becomes incredibly obvious that this cathartic battle against Ramsay is so poorly handled because Jon Snow and Ramsay Snow are nothing to each other.

Let's be clear here, this is the first time that Jon and Ramsay have really interacted on any level in the show (besides the letter). The plot here is weak just because it only exists to give the audience catharsis and does nothing for the characters.

Also it's incredibly funny to me how toxically masculine "Game of Thrones" is. In the books, the primary color of House Bolton is Pink. But, of course, in "Game of Thrones" real men don't wear pink so the Boltons are retooled to wear black and red.

There's a lot of talk about how Jon can't win because they don't have the numbers. Which is true.

We've also seen that "twenty good men" from Ramsay could literally cripple Stannis's entire army. So honestly Ramsay could probably take out Jon's army with like ten good men.

But for some reason that doesn't happen?

Honestly the funniest moment from that scene is just watching Davos be literally standing in the background doing nothing.

Then we get Jon Snow's war council. We get three characters, Tormund, Jon, and Davos, who are probably the most unexperienced at military strategy, trying to plan what they're going to do. Sansa is there and occasionally we get a reaction shot where it's clear she's unhappy.

After everyone leaves Sansa then calls Jon Snow out because she is obviously the one person there with actual experience with Ramsay. Also it's further confirmed that they don't have the numbers and they probably should have just waited.

Which begs the question: why hasn't Sansa told Jon about Littlefinger and the Vale Knights? What is the purpose of keeping that quiet?

As disgusting as Sansa returning to the man who literally sold her to Ramsay snow is, I'm so confused over why she hasn't told anyone about the Vale Knights that are just casually chilling by Moat Cailin.

Out of curiosity, how long ago was last week's episode? I want to say "not very" but based on the Vale Knight's arriving maybe twelve hours after they were summoned, I'm inclined to think it was much later.

Neither makes sense, but when has any sort of timeline made sense in this show.

Sansa has the foresight to mention that Rickon isn't going to survive, so count that as hamfisted foreshadowing, I guess?

Then we're treated to Jon's right hand men, Tormund and Davos, having a conversation...about Stannis and Mance?

I'm in shock too. I can't believe we're expected to care about Stannis again after like eight episodes of ignoring the fact that he died. They so clearly thought ahead about all of this.

Also this scene is incredibly weird because who are Tormund and Davos to each other? Honestly the only similarity is that they're both full of no homo love for Jon Snow.

That's where the similarities end.

Then, after like many episodes of suspicious absence, we finally see Melisandre again and she's just like chilling in a tent.

Where has she been? Was there any point to the audience discovering that she's actually very old? Has that been an important plot point? It hasn't. Mel was literally only important to the plot to revive Jon Snow back in Episode 2. Since then she's just been kinda strung along for no reason. I feel bad because the actress plays her so well and she's obviously important in the books because we get her Point of View during "A Dance with Dragons."

Whatever, the scene between Jon and Mel was kinda pointless. Mel was snarky and it basically confirmed that Jon Snow has magical plot armor.

Then we have a cut of Davos walking and he comes across a pyre and finds the stag he carved for Shireen by the pyre. And he finally puts it together.

I'm sorry. I'm pissed that they burned Shireen for no reason, but that was ten episodes ago. The shock and hurt from that moment has passed and though my righteous anger won't fade, forcing me to care about this again is really gross.

It's so clear that nothing is ever thought through. There were no immediate ramifications to Shireen's death, it was just meant to shock the audience. There was no character development from it. It was used as a justification for Stannis's death an episode later.

They used the death of a young girl to turn the audience against Stannis so they could kill him off for catharsis.

The fact that this only now affects other characters in the universe is ridiculous.

I said in the beginning of the season that I was surprised that Davos didn't react to Stannis's death and Shireen's burning, but I never imagined that they would just like bring it back so long after.

I shouldn't be upset that they're just now getting to it, but really, how lazy is this writing then? Stannis's camp deserted him -- where did the rest of them go? Does no one bring the tale to the Wall?

There's no way that Davos is just finding out about this now. I'm sorry does he live under a rock? This should've been handled ages ago -- before Jon Snow was resurrected, honestly. This would have given Davos the idea to support Jon. Finding out now does nothing except turns Davos and Mel against each other (and really, how could Davos be mad now he can confirm that Mel does have magic powers).

Alright, so the last segment of the episode is basically a half an hour of BastardBowl. So I guess we can just cut to analysis.

Basically there's a lot of build up that starts in silence as the troops look at each other. Jon and Ramsay move to the respective front of their troops, but Ramsay's brought Rickon along to bait Jon into being an idiot.

Well Ramsay murders Rickon (shocker to no one) and Jon Snow succeeds on being an idiot and doing exactly what he wasn't supposed to do.

In the War Council the plan was to get Ramsay to charge, but Jon instead starts charging like an idiot. JON SANSA LITERALLY SAID RICKON WAS AS GOOD AS DEAD. RICKON WAS LITERALLY NEVER GOING TO SURVIVE THE SEASON.

I mean Rickon was just another shameful incident of Benioff and Weiss bring characters back only to murder them before they actually say anything. This way they can pay the actors as extras and not as actual cast members.

It's happened with both Rickon and Olly this season as, I'm sure, it's happened with other characters. Both Rickon and Olly are named characters within the universe and they both are sort of important.

Yes, Olly is a show-created character who played a very hamfisted role in the stabbing of Jon Snow last season. Last season he had lines. This season he got a few reaction shots (a trademark of his) before they killed him. He didn't say anything. Therefore, they can pay him as an extra.

Furthermore, the same thing happened to Rickon Stark. Benioff and Weiss went through great lengths to keep the same actor (when they've recasted numerous characters) but rather than, I don't know, develop the character or have him say (well) anything, they just sort of parade him around for a bit and then kill him before any lines are spoken. The actor is now an extra. Viola!

So Jon Snow is an idiot and leads the charge, and Ramsay just sort of has his archers pick off the chargers.

Jon Snow miraculously makes it through all of that on foot and is not hurt at all. Obviously there's some crazy plot armor happening.

Also we're given completely gratuitous shots of arrows just eviscerating poor Rickon's corpse.

I'm not even sure what Rickon's death does, tbh. Obviously Bran stands to inherit before Rickon does, and Sansa stands to inherit before Jon does. So obviously the goal cannot be for Jon to inherit Winterfell because they would have to kill Sansa off (a decision they would probably get so much shit for). Because the audience knows that Bran is coming back, though, killing Rickon is also purposeless to sort of open up Sansa's inheritance.

The only real reason to kill Rickon is for shock value and to reinforce the fact that Ramsay is an asshole, which I hope the audience already realizes since he's literally been torturing people since we've first seen him in the show.

Then there's a whole battle. I'd recap exactly what happens, but I don't quite remember all of the shots.

It's a lot of violence and blood though. This is probably the bloodiest episode of "Game of Thrones" to date. It felt like I was rewatching "Troy." There was literally so much blood over everything.

Honestly most of Jon Snow's army is basically dead by the end.

Then when things look bleakest the Vale Knights appear ex Machina led by Littlefinger and Sansa.

This plot makes me sick. I can't believe Sansa had to grovel and beg to get his help. And, judging by the previews, there's gonna be more Sansa and Littlefinger interactions next week which are going to be disgusting.

Anyways basically most of both armies are decimated (hopefully they remember to burn all the bodies????) and then Jon, Tormund, and Wun Wun make it to Winterfell for the final stand. Wun Wun sacrifices himself to get them into the castle and then Jon basically takes out Ramsay like the bitch he is.

The Stark banners once again fly over Winterfell and Rickon is going to be taken into the crypt (maybe so we can finally get R+L=J revealed).

The final scene is Sansa Stark literally murdering Ramsay with his own dogs. It's pretty gross to watch. This episode is super gory.

Cathartic? Yes. But that's not what Sansa Stark is about. Sansa Stark doesn't go around brutally murdering people for catharsis. Sansa Stark is cerebral and constantly using her courtesy armor for subterfuge.

But I guess strong women in Game of Thrones aren't super nuanced. In this show there's literally no way to be strong except to enjoy murdering people.