In honor of the high school Shakespeare competition here at Southern Utah University, I am going to teach you Shakespearean insults for every situation. These are some of the greatest insults that can be used for everyday interactions. Spice up your comebacks by inserting these great Shakespeare insults into your everyday occurrences. Shakespeare was meant to be spoken not read, so find a way to stuff these insults into your vocabulary.
1. “Thou has no more brain than I have in mine elbows” – Troilus and Cressida
2. “More of your conversation would infect my brain” – Coriolanus
3. “You are not worth another word, else I'd call you knave” – All’s Well That Ends Well
4. “I was seeking for a fool when I found you” – As You Like It
5. “Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit, for I am sick when I do look on thee” – Midsummer Nights Dream
6. “Out of my sight, thou dost infect mine eyes” – Richard III
(That one is my favorite… Just thought you ought to know)
7. “On my knee I give heaven thanks that I am not like to thee” – King John
8. “A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell” – Twelfth Night
9. “You tread upon my patience” – King Henry IV Part 1
10. “Pray you, stand farther from me” – Antony and Cleopatra
11. “Down, down to hell, and say I send thee thither” – King Henry VI Part 3
12. “You are strangely troublesome” – Henry VIII
13. “Let’s meet as little as we can” – As You Like It
14. “I desire that we be better strangers” – As You Like It
I hope you will find ways to bring The Great Playwright's words to life. On top of quoting Shakespeare, insulting someone in this manner will make you seem intelligent beyond your years.




















