To the guy that was with me through it all: only a few tears have been shed while I write this. The tears I shed are for the future that I am thinking about, the one that we ruined. I want you to understand that I don’t hate you and I will never ask you to change for me because I love you for who you are. We went through years of ups and downs; we gave each other laughs and hardships. We gave it a try and it didn't work. We climbed up the emotional ladder and we failed. We didn’t make it.

It was unfortunate how hard we tried and fell, but here's the catch: only one of us tried but both of us failed. Both strong and both weak, one warrior and one lion. In the past years you have been my warrior and my heart only beat to your drum. The warrior protected his lion until it was too much. You have been the ache in my heart and the mending of it. I will always have a place for you in my heart, but you have to understand how toxic that is. I am already killing myself for the love I have to come. The guy that will actually love me, love my flaws, love my glory, and that will be there for my fall and rise, that guy will have to share my heart with you always.

It only gets worse though, because you see I don't regret loving you, I don't regret keeping you in my heart, and I don't regret having to tell my future husband that he can't have all of my heart because a fallen warrior already claimed a part of it. You made me strive to be the better person you always knew I could be, and I was my best person when I was striving to make you proud. You saw my greatest moments, and my worst moments. The major flaw with us was that you were not able to let us reach our future.

I was burdened from the sins of a past woman’s mistakes. I lost your trust before I even gained it. We waited so many years, and we tried so hard, but one thing we couldn't do is succeed. We couldn’t do it. There is only one option for our future now: not to have one with each other. I only hope you will find the one you always needed, because that clearly was not me. Even though you will always have a place in my heart I hope I don’t have one in yours. I hope that the lucky woman who wins your heart doesn't have to share it with me. I hope she will have your complete heart. I hope that having a divided heart will only be my burden and not yours.

I love you enough to hope you don't love me.

I thought we were going to be those people, the ones who worked up to our glory as husband and wife, but we failed. We will both reach our glory eventually, but just with separate paths. While you were always wishing you could pick my brain and see my point of view it would have been tampered with because I was changing my brain to match yours. I was losing myself to be everything you wanted me to be. I realize now you liked me the way I was for seven years, and you didn't want me to change.

I hope you understand there will always be a part of me that wants to throw everything away and marry you, with Elvis in Vegas, but from what I've learned that is one-sided. But there is one huge point I have learned from you: true love is hoping you will never have to go through what I am going through. I love you always. Don't forget that, but find someone that will be your warrior as you have been for me. Here is to the ignored calls, texts, and messages. The lonely nights, the love for someone who only wanted to love you when it was convenient. Here is to seven years that I will always hold close.