Anyone who has every performed in front of audience knows you have a love-hate relationship with the show throughout its duration. The thoughts you have towards the show are like a roller coaster and change all the time. There are lots of different phases and feelings you have towards the show, but I have identified seven phases that I have seen myself go through during a show.

1. The phase where you feel like there’s so much time until the show

This phase occurs within the first week of getting the script and running through the show. You’re all giddy and you have all of these ideas about the show and what you can bring to it. The show feels like it’s so far away so you’re just caught up in all of the possibilities and the potential friendships with the cast and crew.

2. The phase where you just want the show to be over with

This phase can occur towards the middle of the rehearsal process. Before this you were just focused on your responsibilities that relate to the show, but then life around you catches up and you realize how overwhelmed and busy you are. Not only is there no time for homework anymore, but you have no time for friends and no time to memorize your lines. You try to do it all but it just leaves you exhausted and overwhelmed. At this point you just want to get the show over with so you can resume to your life when it wasn’t so busy.

3. The phase where you are so excited and want everyone in the world to see the show

After you’ve surpassed the low point of emotions during the show process, you reach the point when you’re about two weeks from the show. You’ve become more confident in your lines and certain aspects of the show it’s all starting to fall together such as the costumes and the set. It’s all becoming more of a reality and you realize how great this show is going to be and you just want everyone you know to come see it.

4. The phase where you’re super sappy and sentimental

This phase happens during tech week. You realize that you’ve spent countless hours and weeks with these people that you’ve gotten so close to and you want to utilize and embrace all of the time you have with them. You look at them differently and if you’re like me, an already sappy and emotional person, then you put more energy into pictures and gifts and just enjoying each other’s company because you want to be able to live in the moment with these people in this situation as much as you can.

5. The roller coaster phase

This phase occurs during the actual show. Warning: You won’t be getting any sleep at all during these days. You go through a constant roller coaster. You won’t sleep the night before every show because you will constantly be thinking about the show. Hours before the show you have this constant angst because you are excited and nervous for the show, and then you acquire a build-up of adrenaline during the show, and you have this whirlwind of butterflies and excitement, and you can’t stop your knees from shaking because of all of the nerves and anticipation for the show that you’ve been waiting to show people for months. After the show you have all of this excitement and adrenaline rush because you are so happy with how it went, and then you see all of your loved ones after, and that is an overwhelming yet amazing whirlwind in itself because you know that you’ve finally shared the thing you’ve put so much work into and are so proud of with the people who mean the most to you. Then once you get home and need to sleep, you can’t, because you still have all of that adrenaline and excitement, and then right when that dies down, you start anticipating the next show, and the nerves come back. So make sure you have lots of candy and energy drinks to keep you going because quality sleep is very scarce.

6. The phase where you are happy it’s over because now you can have a little bit of a life

After you’ve taken your final bows and seen all of your loved ones you get back to the dressing room and put away your costume, you think to yourself with pride that you were able to showcase what you love to do through a project you’re so proud of. Then the beautiful moment comes when you can breathe a sigh of relief and realize that you will have so much more time to put back into homework and jobs and your friends and family that have been put on the back burner for the last couple of months. You'll also get to have time for your long-awaited friend: sleep.

7. The phase where you miss the show like crazy and can’t believe it went by so fast

Then the moment comes that next Monday when you are sitting at home during the time that you would normally have rehearsal and you realize how empty your life feels now. You realize how much the show meant to you. You have a flashback to when you first started the show, and you realize that the show you thought would take forever to come has vanished in the blink of an eye, and you begin to miss it and the people involved. Whenever you see them in public after that, you will reminisce with them about the show, and whenever all of you hear a certain word, you automatically make a reference to a line or memory from the show because you still aren’t over it.

Being a part of a play is an exhausting experience that takes so much out of you and demands so much, but honestly I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It’s such a gratifying and humbling opportunity that gives you the ability to build on your craft and show people what you love you do. It not only helps you get better at what you love to do, but you build such close bonds with the people you work with and gain a new little family with each show you do. Not many activities you participate in life have a roller coaster of emotions like this and I think that’s why I love performing so much, because you go through so many powerful and diverse emotions on and off stage and you push yourself to your limits physically, emotionally and mentally, but then you’re left with this beautiful creation of a show and something you gain that’s even more beautiful? The memories and bonds you’ve created alongside an amazing group of creative people. Whenever I get the chance to audition I will take it because I would rather take the risk to possibly get in a show and be able to hop on this crazy roller coaster and do it all over again.