For better or worse, texting has become one of the main forms of communication between people. Everywhere you look someone is texting another person or in this case, multiple people. The advent of the group text (in my opinion) was one of the greatest decisions that phone companies have ever made. The group text gives people the opportunity to stay connected with family and friends all at once. Sure, it can get really annoying when some people go back and forth but hey, that’s what the mute feature is for (assuming you have an iPhone. I have no idea how Androids work).
I want to focus on the group text you have with your best friends. You know the one. The one you don’t tell mom about because if she saw what was said you’d probably never see your friends again. The one that has the funniest pictures and the craziest stories. The one that helps you get through the rough days.
*I will be referring to all these friends as men because I’m a guy and that’s who is in my group text.
Here are The 7 Friends of a Group Text:
1. The One that says things that make absolutely no sense.
Okay full disclosure, this could be multiple people at a certain time. However, for the sake of the story we’ll focus on one. So you’re talking about the game from last night. Everybody is giving their two cents when all of a sudden this guy drops in with a statement about how he once counted all the freckles on the left side of his face. Who the in hell cares about that? He often makes up random works to fit his feelings. He makes some outlandish statements that leave everyone scratching their heads
2. The One that makes everything difficult
He’s makes you ask “why am I friends with him again?” He argues for the sake of arguing. He’s the guy that removes himself every other day from the conversation rather than just putting the thing on mute. He can be extreme but he's also the first guy to get your back when someone outside the group is in your face. The group wouldn’t be the same without him. When he’s on, he’s hilarious. Everybody laughs at anything he says because he’s a fool.
3. The One with the highest GPA
He’s got a bit of #2 in him, in that, he like to argue because he can (and he’s full of sh*t, too). If you have a difficult school question, you’re going to ask to him. He’ll give you a smart ass answer, but it will be correct. His insults during the roast sessions are normally a grade above everyone else in complexity and ruthlessness. He normally goes for the soul in one foul swoop but then later apologizes claiming he had a relapse into his younger days back in ’86 (he was born in ’95).
4. The One that loves the Selfie
His Instagram is full of nothing but his face and his half-naked body. Over 78% of his photos are of him. He has no shame about it though. You can call him out and he’ll own it to no end. He makes for the perfect picture roast because you can go back to his middle school days and find the images with WordArt all over them.
5. The One that made you all friends
He was the one that everyone can point to as the OG. Even if you all played on the same team or some of you knew each other before hand, without this guy you all wouldn’t be as close. He was the first to open his house up for hangouts. He was the first to introduce you to the other members you didn't know too well. He knew how to bring everyone together for the first go around.
6.The One that starts all Roasting
Errrrrbody knows who this is. He is ruthless, hilarious, and a one of a kind dude. No matter the situation or conversation someone is getting joked on. He’s got probably the ugliest laugh you’ve ever heard. It’s incredibly distinct so when he types “lol” or “haha” you chuckle because you know his happy self is cackling like the hyena from the Lion King. Even when he gets serious on you, he finds a way to tell you your head looks like a watermelon covered in lettuce. Makes no sense at all, but he said it so you’re going to laugh.
7. The One that never says anything
Commonly referred to as “The Ghost,” this guy lurks in the shadows jumping in at random times so you don’t forget you’re friends with him. He’ll be the one at the end of the day to come in and say “Guys, WTF! I have 247 texts.” Everybody says something to the effect of “sucks to suck” or “maybe you should have responded sooner.” Now, does he have a legit reason for not responding – say maybe a job or internship, probs but who cares about that?
Your friends are one of a kind. They make you laugh and they will always be there for you whenever you need them. I’ve been lucky to find some pretty awesome friends really early in my life and I know I’m not alone. Friends start out as strangers but finish as family. Everyone has little quirks that can get annoying at times. However, we always seem to look past them because these are the people that really get you.
I don’t have any biological brothers, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have brothers. Every single one of my best friends are my brothers. They have my back and I have their's. We watch out for each other We laugh with each other. We pray for each other. We’re family. I couldn’t imagine going through life without them.
