Tinder really doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out or any kind of scientist, or really anyone with any IQ above average. However, some guys really just mess it up and seem to struggle with creating a profile that will actually attract women, rather than terrify them. Here are some of the mistakes I have encountered that have made me swipe left immediately. Read closely, guys.
1.Pictures of you catching or holding a fish.
Major loss of points if you are also standing in the fish’s blood. It seems like this is a subliminal message from guys saying “I can provide for you, I am a mighty outdoorsman,” but since we are no longer hunter-gatherers, I think I’ll pass on the fishing prowess.
2. A bathroom mirror picture selfie.
Those are four words that should never go together, not only in general but also especially for a guy. First of all, these pictures are never high quality. Second, this makes you look like a middle school girl who just got her first iPhone and is really feeling herself that day.
3. Pictures of you at the gym.
Major loss of points if this photo is accompanied by a biography that includes phrases like: “gym rat,” “protein or bust SON,” “gym flow,” “stay on my grind,” or “fitness over everything.” No one is trying to match with a personal trainer or Mike “The Situation.”
4. A picture of your tattoo.
Major loss of points if this is a color tattoo, or a tattoo that has just been done (aka swollen and red). I’m glad the tattoo is meaningful for you, really, I am. But chances are, if you’re the kind of guy who features your tattoo on your Tinder, you’re the kind of guy who got a stupid tattoo. I appreciate the full disclosure, because the last thing I’d want to do is find out about the tattoo later, but to me, showing it off the bat is Tinder suicide.
5. A biography that includes phrases like: “we both know why we’re here ;).”
Don't include Any inclusion of “;)” whatsoever for that matter. The winky face is the most egregious error of them all. That just makes you look like a major skeez. Also, do you not have an emoticon keyboard? Sketchy. I think guys believe that acknowledging that they’re just trying to find a “booty call” is being honest, but it’s actually just making you sound like a jerk. And I’d be willing to bet it decreases your overall matches, because most girls aren’t like “yup, all I want is to be a ‘booty call’ and feel like this is meaningless, sounds good!”
6. Biographies that include: “big fan of cuddling,” or any mention of him being a “first rate cuddler.”
The cuddling phenomenon is baffling to me. I think guys think that this is something girls automatically swoon at, like “oh wow, he likes to make normal affectionate gestures, he’s so romantic and sweet.” Newsflash: guys who post this bio are actually probably looking for the same thing as the guy who posts “we both know why we’re here ;),” but “The Cuddler” (sounds like a serial killer) thinks that being less direct will help him out. It doesn’t. Like a serial killer, “The Cuddler” is probably trying to woo you by saying nice things that are relatively meaningless.
7. A shirtless photo not taken at the gym or the beach.
And finally, the seventh deadly Tinder sin. Congrats on the six pack, it looks great. If you’re taking this as a selfie, you probably spend way too much time looking in the mirror to have developed social skills. Further, time spent taking pictures of your abs on your bed is time you could’ve spent developing a personality. Or a good profile.
