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A Series Of Open Letters

It's the end of the semester so I am obviously procrastinating...

Gabrielle Picone
Dec 06, 2016
Kean University
24
A Series Of Open Letters

hieee! Alright so I was going to make a vlog doing this, but instead I'm just not. It's the end of the semester so like helllllooo obviously I am procrastinating. Sooo anyway, I watched a video by Ariana Marcanti (ayo wassup girl!) She posted this great video of a series of open letters which had me ROLLING!! I was pissing myself.. I also cringed because her and I alike have some serious pet peeves. I came to the conclusion that I will copy what she did in her video but with my own series of open letters. So here. We. Go.:

1. An open letter to my bladder,

I can appreciate your role in my life, but maybe you could like tone it down a bit? I sincerely don't think it is normal to have to pee 18 times within ONE HOUR! (that may have been exaggerated, but maybe it's just you..) I would greatly appreciate you not forcing me to have to get up and leave the same task I had to stop three other times to use the restroom.

2. An open letter to my mascara,

Hey girl! Love the way you make my eyes look!! But uh, pretty sure you're packaging says waterproof... I wasn't in a face washing commercial so there was no water splashed onto my face, I wasn't crying, and I wasn't sweating. SO WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!! Regardless of anything I was doing, you shouldn't have been running in the first place. What are you running from? Is it the shade of green that my eyes are? Do you not like it? Is it because sometimes I wait too long to get my eyebrows done? Because I can make sure that I get them done on a regular basis from here on out. What's the deal homie?!

3. An open letter to Netflix,

Why must you ask if I'm still watching? I know you know I am!! If I wasn't I would have paused you. If I haven't moved in the last 5-8 hours, I'm not moving anytime soon... please stop making me reach for the remote to let you know I am here.. I AM!

4. An open letter to my wifi,

Why does everybody else's wifi work perfectly but you don't? You're embarrassing me in front of my friends. I just want to watch this video I was tagged in on Facebook, but NOOOO why would you allow me to have the little things, the only things that make me happy? Because you're selfish that's why! I don't know how, and I don't know why, but you are.... and I loath you for it.

5. An open letter to my hair,

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST COOPERATE WITH ME EVER?! Why do I have to be tortures by seeing girls with perfect hair in pictures and in real life?! Why is it that every time we take a picture you look like someone just tasseled you or you just went through a windy tunnel with all of the windows open or someone rubbed a balloon over you and now you're sticking straight up? What did I ever do to you? Come on now....

6. An open letter to the guys on snap chat who are sending me pictures of your "abs",

#1 ew... #2 I am NOT interested and I laugh about them with my friends... goodbye.


So in lieu of my regularly scheduled article, I hope you enjoyed this one. :)

xoxo Gossip Girl

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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