I recently read a dramatic piece for my literature class, and it stuck with me. It’s called “Sure Thing” by David Ives and it focuses on how all of our daily interactions with strangers are impacted by small happenstances and conscious and subconscious split second judgements we make throughout our daily lives. I think it stuck with me so much because I recently had an experience that it reminded me of and made me rethink the new friendships I’ve been trying to create and help grow this new year.
Every single day we have fleeting moments of time with random people that have the potential to become something, but more often than not they become nothing. The question Ives is asking us with this piece is: what keeps us from all that potential? What sets apart the interactions that bloom into relationships from the ones that don’t?
With these questions Ives starts to pull apart and shed light on both the horrible and self-serving faults within human thought processes and also the amazing serendipity we're able to take advantage of when it comes to brief but meaningful interactions between strangers. We judge people we don’t even know so many different ways: vanity, preconceived notions, previous experiences, stereotyping, expectations, perception vs. reality relative to both parties, etc. Most of the time we usually don’t even actively realize we do this, but we all have those judgments in our consciousness, whether we want them there or not.
On the other hand, sometimes something just clicks with another person. Behind this interaction there are so many simple things that are just right. Most obviously is the time and place, not so obviously is the mood of both people, the mindset both bring to that place, potential interactions, mutual acceptance of appearance, approach, etc. Everyone interprets certain interactions and social behavior differently, and maybe some people speak the same social interpretation language (which can impact whether or not they become friends or not). There are so many factors we don’t notice that contribute to whether or not two people go from strangers to friends.
If we’re more conscious of our part in fitting these “pieces” together, do you think we’d be better at creating relationships with people we don’t yet know? How can we become better at communicating verbally with people rather than subconsciously with ourselves? Should we work at this or is it something that will always be the way it is? Will we always be stuck behind the glass that circumstances impose or can we break the glass and see the situation from a new perspective?
