Throughout my life, I've purposefully held things in for the simple reason of not wanting to look weak to others, but as I grew older I realized just how harmful it was for me to bottle up and suppress all of my insecurities and hurt, so I began to let it out.
The only downside to being vulnerable with someone is them not really caring about what you have to say, and that can be brutal. It makes you want to bottle up your emotions again too, doesn't it?
It's okay to be sensitive. It's okay to want to express your feelings and emotions to another person, but what's not okay, is making a person feel bad about being sensitive and vulnerable with you.
This day in age, people love to shun the idea of being sensitive. Now, it's all about being 'hard' and 'heartless.' I remember when society told me that's what I should be too, so I tried it.
Long story short, my sensitive ass didn't last very long.
Back then, I approached and handled my relationships with people with an 'idgaf' attitude and when I was actually hurting in situations, I suppressed it and grew numb to it rather than dealing with it. When people I really cared about did me wrong, I swore to myself that I didn't care and that I would just fall back and treat them the same way they treated me, but the fact of the matter was, I couldn't because I was the most emotionally sensitive person in the room. And I cared a lot.
When I love, I love hard, and when I hurt, the hurt cuts deep. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm too sensitive and I should just boss up and get over it, but then I realize that I wouldn't be me without that sensitive side of me. I'm not saying you should let your emotions get the best of you in situations, but what I do want you all to know is that it's okay to embrace your sensitivity. Just because this world can be a cold one doesn't mean you have to be cold too.
Too often I have let other people tell me what to feel when I know the extent to which I am hurting, but the thing is, no one can truly understand you better than yourself.
I know so many people who feel like they can't open up to the people they are around simply because those people are insensitive in many situations, and that's hard. That kind of thing can make you feel even more alone than you already do, and then you're stuck handling your grief alone.
I've been there, and I won't lie to you and say it's easy, but what I will say is that it can allow you to branch out and make other friendships/relationships with people who want to listen to your struggles and will offer ways to help rather than turn a blind eye to you and ignore what you may be going through.
As you go throughout life, you will meet a lot of people trying to hide their sensitive side, because too many, being sensitive is not socially acceptable, but don't let that turn you into a heartless person too.
More likely than not, the person who is trying to portray themselves as 'hard' is just as sensitive as the next person. It's time we stop glorifying the suppression of our feelings and start normalizing sensitivity and vulnerability.
This world shouldn't be a cold one, but in turn, its coldness is a reflection of us.