Yesterday was my last first day of high school.
At the time, that fact didn't resonate with me. As soon as I got home, though, it hit me: I'll never return to the parking lot of Decatur High School on an August morning fresh off of summer vacation. There won't be another time when my classmates and I will see each other and ask "How was your summer?" after having not seen some of them for two months. That fact hit me, and it did so like a merciless ton of bricks.
Everyone always says that when you begin your senior year of high school, you begin your "lasts". There will be a last Friday night football game, a last pep rally, and a last homecoming parade. This is the part of senior year that I never thought about it. Like most people, I'd always dreamt of senior year with the aspirations of finally being able to graduate and have a way out of my hometown. I've always been one who enjoys new adventures, and so going off to college excites me. Even so, I'm just now realizing that some of the best adventures of my life have to come to an end in order for that to happen.
That's life, I suppose. Everything comes to an end eventually; both the good and the bad. I will admit that certain aspects of that idea scare me. It scares me that I might look up in ten years and realize that I haven't spoken to certain people that I really enjoyed talking to in high school since graduation. It scares me that some memories might fade. It scares me that I might forget some good times.
Just like there are bad feelings, though, there are good feelings. I'm excited to go on a new adventure at a new school. I'm excited to meet new people, and the get the chance to learn more about what I'm passionate about. I'm excited to be able to one day come back to my hometown and tell my old high school classmates about this great adventures and hear about theirs.
I face this conflict constantly: I'm a person who has always been anxious to grow up and dive into the world, but I have also always been a person that is afraid of time and change. It just wigs me out, you know?
These are all inner struggles that I find myself pondering on the first couple of days of senior year. I'm sure some of my fellow classmates are thinking the exact same things. We're all afraid, but we're all excited. This is the best of times, and the worst of times. In a sense, we say goodbye to our lives so that we may say hello to our lives. It really is a strange thing.
To my friends from school, I figure that it's a good idea to go ahead and say all of this now:
Each and every individual in the class of 2017 makes up the best group of people I've ever had the chance to be a part of. I've grown up with you guys, and that does make it hard to think about goodbye. But while the end is drawing near, we can't allow it to scare us. We can't let ourselves be so afraid of the change that we don't treasure the "lasts". I want to have moments from this school year to look back on with fondness. I want to remember you guys as who you've always been: fun, personable, crazy, smart people. You've been the best, and I can't wait to see how we wrap things up together.
Let us enjoy these last ten months that we have. Let us eat with our families often, because it's the last time we'll ever be getting their cooking consistently. Let us eat out together just as much, because it's the last time we'll ever have the chances to do that consistently. Let us cheer louder than ever before on Friday nights, because we finally have the front row of the student section. Let us play our hardest on every sports field, because it's the last time many of us will wear a school jersey of any kind. Let us leave our mark in the classroom, so that teachers might one day tell of our greatness. Let us hug each other often, because we've grown up together, and a time is coming when we won't see each other as much. And lastly, let us celebrate, because while this life is just ending our new lives are just beginning.
I love you all.
- Dan
