This is it. I leave for my last year of undergrad this week. One would think that with it being my last year I have this whole school thing under control. In reality, I still feel very much like a freshman. Sure, I know the basic layout of how things work -- I know the combinations on the mailboxes need to be turned to the left first instead of the right like every other combination lock, I know which building each subject is taught in, and I know which places the WiFi works the best in. Some things, however, don't get easier as time goes on. In fact, I'm pretty sure that instead of getting easier, the following things have gotten harder.
Now that I have a couple years under my belt, I know what I really need to pack and what can stay home, right? Wrong. Very, very wrong. With just three days of summer left, I still find myself spending countless hours packing, unpacking, and repacking trying to minimize the amount of stuff I'm taking so that it 1.) all fits in the car and 2.) all fits nicely in my dorm. With this process comes me asking the question of "Do I really need _____?" over and over again with everything from clothing to decorations. In my opinion, packing doesn't get easier -- it get's harder.
Saying Goodbye
I'm more than ready to be back at school, on my own, and with my friends. However, as much as I'm ready for independence, I'm going to miss a lot. I'm going to miss summer adventures. I'm going to miss the town I grew up in and my proximity to a Target store, but mostly I'll miss the people.
The Future
Starting in high school, the most common question most of us are asked is "what are your plans?" By my last year, I should know the answer to this, right? Well, the truth is, I don't. While I may have finally settled on a major, I am still unsure of my future. What exactly do I want to do in my field? Do I attend grad school or try to find a job right away? Do I want to work close to my college town, hometown, or a completely different place? The list goes on and on. The closer to graduation, the more questions I'm asked. Being more certain of the future may be expected as graduation approaches, but in reality it has only resulted in more uncertainty.
School
Remember the days when you couldn't wait to be old enough to go to school and ride on the school bus like the big kids? For most of us that excitement doesn't last. It is exciting to be back on campus, but even as the kid who loved school so much that she used to ask her teachers for extra homework, school has not gotten any easier. Whether it is your senior year or not, almost everyone catches a case of senioritis halfway through the semester and struggles to find the motivation to choose studying for tests over hanging out with friends or catching up on sleep.
Finding motivation can be difficult, and still having so much uncertainty about the future can be frustrating. However, pretty much everyone is in the same boat and, on the bright side, it is our last year! So while it can be hard to feel as though we haven't learned everything we should have, let's enjoy this last year of hard work in our home away from home.
