Senior Year.... It's a big thing. It is that final step you take before you have to start doing almost everything on your own. No more parents filling out your medical information and signing you up for things on your own after this year. After this year you have to know your social security number, have a license, have a job, and have a plan. After this year there won't be anymore impromptu late night movie nights with your whole family. There will be late night movie nights with the people you meet in college or yourself or more likely you will be studying if you're like me. You are grown after this year and are supposed to know how to do things on your own. It's scary. What if I mess up? What if I don't get into a good college? What if I mix reds with whites and that white button up I needed for my lecture is ruined?
We have so many questions and too many answers. We have answers from our parents and friends and teachers and, well, everyone. It doesn't stop the fear we feel though. We are still scared that this year, our final year, will have been for nothing. We are not only at "the top of the food chain" now but we are also supposed to set an example for the people younger than us and have fun and apply for colleges and financial aid and get a job and spend time with our family and hang out with our friends and make good grades so we can get our GPA up just a little more and have time for ourselves. That is not even including our extracurricular activities we do or our basic personal hygiene or our sleep that we NEED. We are looked at and expected to do so many things all at once and it is scary. If we fail at one thing there are so many things that run through our head. We wonder if we will ruin everything or how the people before us did it and how everything didn't crash and burn with them. How have we not failed yet?
As we have grown up and learned we have realized that everything about success is hard work and senior year is the definition of hard work. It feels like it will either make you or break you. And in a way it might. You either finish it and are going on to do what you want or you're lost. It's not the end though. It's a beginning. Your senior year is the beginning of adulthood and responsibility, which is probably the scariest part. At this point you are expected to be ready for anything life throws at you which is scary. Your family can no longer protect you from everything bad. You are your shield now.
We like to think we are grown and ready for it too but the truth is we are scared. We still want to just have fun and have no worries. People say that these are the best years of your life and you have nothing to worry about but all we do is worry. None of us can help it. We were wired that way. We can, however, be happy even as we struggle because even though we are constantly moving and stressing out because there are moments that make all of it worth the stress. We are worth the stress and the lack of sleep.