My mom tells me that when I was little, I always liked to be the Door Holder for my class. It was a position of prestige in my little 5-year-old eyes; I was in charge of letting everyone into the classroom, and without me, they simply couldn't enter. And I loved being the person to get the door for everyone so they didn't have to do it themselves.

I remember always befriending the kid that nobody really talked to in elementary school. I would try to socialize with him/her and get him/her to play with me. I've always disliked the idea of shunning people, so I did my best to always ensure that everyone felt like they belonged.

I've had my fair share of friends that have taken advantage of my kindness. Throughout middle and high school, I was always accused of being "too nice." I was too friendly, too giving, too overwhelming. I needed to "stand up" for myself.

My mentality is selfless. I'm a giver. I love to help others in any which way I can. If someone asks me to help them out with something minor, I'll do it without hesitation. If someone is going through a hard time, I am always available to talk. If someone needs something immediately, I'll drop whatever I'm doing to help them.

But while I love the nature of who I am, it has also caused me more strife than I deserve.

Generosity by nature is both a blessing and a curse. When you have a gentle soul and a chivalrous attitude, it is easy for other people to take advantage of it. I have a hard time saying "No." I feel awful if I feel I could've done something to alleviate someone stress or pain, but I didn't do it. I've often even caught myself apologizing for apologizing too much.

The older I'm becoming, the more I'm starting to realize that while I may appreciate the time and effort another person takes to perform an act of kindness towards me, other people frequently do not acknowledge it as much as me. Maybe I'm sensitive. But even the smallest thoughtful action could brighten my entire day.

I've recently come to the harsh realization that I do allow people to walk all over me. I don't stand up for myself the way that I should. I do not require praise for my good deeds, but I would like some reciprocation sometimes. I love helping, but I also love to be helped.

I'm coming to terms with the idea that wanting some appreciation in return is okay. Feeling unappreciated sucks. You should always put yourself first, even if you feel like it's wrong. Because at the end of the day, you are the one who needs to be happy. And while I am definitely going to continue to be as accommodating as possible towards others, I am no longer going to do it at my expense.

It's okay to be oblivious sometimes. It's okay to want to help others. It's okay to be extra kind.

And it's absolutely okay to put yourself first.