When I was 18, I fell in love.

Not in the way I loved waffles on a Sunday morning or in the way I loved cancelled classes that next Monday. I was in love. I loved the way he listened to everything I had to say; ideas that filled my cranium and spilled from my lips always seemed to have him in awe. I loved the attention he’d give me; I had never been with someone who’d talk with me until the sun cracked above the horizon and sleep finally pulled me away.

I saw our relationship through rose-colored glasses. Truly, deeply and whole heartedly in love with a boy whom I knew at the time reciprocated some, if not all, of the same feelings as I did.

When I was 19, we parted ways.

I’m not surprised though. People come and go in your life that ultimately shape the person you are today.

I was surprised at how hard I took it. I was left in this dark place with a void in my identity. While there were many circumstances that contributed to our separation, those haunting imperfections of mine fogged my senses and fooled me into believing that I was the sole reason we didn’t work out. I was the reason no one wanted to be with me.

I felt lost. I felt empty. I couldn’t get over him and maybe I didn’t want to. After nights with Ben & Jerry’s and torturously replaying those nostalgic memories, I realized I let him love the parts of me I couldn’t love.

In turn, I created a very dependent relationship. I relied on him to validate how I viewed myself. All the ways he looked at me was how I wanted to see myself. He accepted my darkest fears and still stayed with me as if to say I was worth it. Despite not loving myself, I found someone who did.

It’s so easy to pick up on our flaws. It’s so easy to hate the bodies we’re in. We’re brought up to be self-deprecating people. There’s a whole media business dedicated to selling the public products to improve on our faults. The advertising industry constantly reminds its audience perfection is in reach … If they purchase “X, Y and Z.”

You’ll find that life is a paradox. You’re not supposed to love yourself because the moment you do, you’re considered vain and narcissistic.

Furthermore, many of us are conditioned to take compliments. For the longest time, when I took a compliment, it boosted my self-esteem. I always wanted more validation from other people because it was nice to have the feelings of approval.

Contrastingly, it’s easy to love another person. We fall head first into all the good qualities about them and when we really like another person we tend to overlook their flaws. We’re educated to accept and love everybody except ourselves.

As time progresses and I continue to settle into my second year of college, I find that this place is helping me love myself. I’m exploring myself in ways I haven’t before.

The clubs and student organizations are plentiful. If I wanted to explore my comedic side, there’s a club for that. Since I wanted to voice my opinions, I joined college radio and co-host the Jam-Jar every Thursday at 9 p.m.

I surround myself with a small group of people who are so diverse. Everyone coming from a different background gave me a better appreciation of my friends.

Growing up, the saying I’d always hear or say was, “I love you.” It took me awhile to say, “I love me.” I thought it was something I knew, self-love was something so obvious, to say it aloud would be redundant.

Yet, the moment I looked into the mirror and said those three words, “I love me,” I felt better. I felt as though I didn’t need anyone else to tell me that they loved me.

Loving yourself is a process.

Anything that’s been chiseled down after years and years, takes time to build back up. This process won’t happen overnight. There will be days you might take one step forward but two steps back.

However, the most important aspect to remember is now is the time to experiment with your identity, to explore your likes and dislikes and to discover the gems that make you a treasure.

Take your time in finding the reasons to love yourself because the moment you do, life's rollercoasters might just be a little bit easier to ride.