Self-Love Is Underrated

Self-Love Is The Most Underrated Type Of Love, But It's Also The Most Important

You can only give with which you have.

117
views

The notion of love may just be one of the most intricate concepts one could ever attempt to describe. How is it that a minuscule, four-letter word, is able to possess such a powerful influence in our world? Love can be purely romantic and thoroughly unconditional, existing between intimate relationships. It's that strange feeling one experiences in the pit of their stomach at the sight of someone special. It's the emotion that overcomes a mother as she finally holds her newborn child in her arms — in other words, love at first sight. Love is the foundation of reciprocated understanding, bond, respect, and appreciation.

There are people who are completely nonchalant on the whole love subject, perhaps because they've never fallen in love or never went through a serious heartbreak. Even though these are the two main thoughts that initially pop up in one's mind after hearing, "What is love?" I think of self-love. This underrated type of love doesn't cross the mind of many, and I'm not sure why.

Loving yourself has to do with understanding yourself, accepting all of your unique glows and flaws, and appreciating what you've grown to become.

It is about knowing your values and your boundaries as a person. It is about being kind to yourself and taking care of your mind, your body, and your spirit. There's nothing wrong with this type of love - in fact, it's the greatest love of all. It certainly doesn't make you conceited.

You should acknowledge the fact that you are worthy of love and, most critically, you already are loved. Self-love is the riddance of self-doubt when one knows that they are worth it and that they are always good enough. Having this set, one is able to develop a stable relationship with another individual, free of skepticism, free of insecurity, free of worries and overthinking, free of inner negativity.

These benefits justify the hidden truth that self-love is the absolute prerequisite to truly loving others. To give love to someone, you must first be able to have love in your heart and to have love, you must love yourself. Simply put, you can only give with which you have. If one is discontented with the way they are if one does not contain the bare minimum of love, what is there to give to someone else?

My initial definition of love, being that it is the foundation of mutual bond, understanding, and appreciation, still stands. It is inclusive of the infinite varieties of love that exists in the minds of our people - romantic and sexual love, family love, friendly love, love for our pets, love for our personal interests, and the most underestimated, yet essential love of all, self-love. I aspire to live in a time where human beings pay more mind to their true self, to grow and learn to have faith and pride in themselves, never resorting to putting themselves down to bring another up.

I want to see a world where people can comprehend that valuing yourself will enable you to be more genuinely loving towards others and provide you with a peace of mind that cannot be easily undermined by outside opinions.

Popular Right Now

27 Things To Do With Your Friends When You're Bored

A little bit of fun for any season.
215482
views

I am sure many could relate: you are texting or sitting around with your friends and no one knows what they want to do, everyone is bored, and everyone is flat out of ideas that are actually realistic and achievable. Boredom makes an appearance at it's finest moments... always.

Here are 27 things you can do with your friend in just about any season (some are exclusive to a particular season) when boredom takes over!

1. Find a local coffee shop to try out.

2. Or better yet, find a local restaurant that you’ve all been wanting to try.

3. Go shopping at each others' favorite stores.

4. Tie balloons with positive messages inside of them to random places in your town to uplift a few souls.

5. Cook a homemade meal for a homeless person and deliver it.

6. Get crafty and create a time capsule that you and your friends can open after (x) amount of years.

7. Make your own sushi.

8. Plant flowers in little pots for your homes.

9. Road trip to random local cities and do some exploring.

10. Have a photo shoot.

11. Buy or create a blank page’s journal filled art, writing, sketches, and pictures of your friends that can be used as a memory book.

12. Visit a pumpkin patch.

13. Go stargazing in the middle of the night with a blanket and a few midnight snacks.

14. Go to a haunted house.

15. Go to a movie with the group.

16. Have a giant sleepover with board games, snacks, movies, and crazy pajamas.

17. Have a game night with the peeps.

18. Have a gingerbread making contest.

19. Have a bonfire when it gets cool outside.

20. Make homemade ice cream.

21. Search on maps for the nearest natural spring or river and go swimming or canoeing.

22. Take a camera, your group of friends, and stroll around town taking pictures of your adventure.

23. Use the pictures you take on your adventures and create a photo wall in your home.

24. Have a "Madea" movie night.

25. Throw a themed party.

26. Write letters of encouragement to children (or adults) in hospitals.

27. Look up random keywords on YouTube for possibly some of the best videos ever.

Cover Image Credit: aurimas_m / Flickr

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Taking Time For Yourself Is Nothing To Feel Guilty About, It's Healthy

Your emotional health should be your utmost priority — and you deserve to be in good emotional health.

83
views

Renowned Sōtō Zen monk Shunryu Suzuki once said that: "We do not exist for the sake of something else. We exist for the sake of ourselves." We've often been told the opposite, however. We've been told that our worth is dependent on what we can do for others and that our existence itself is meant for the advancement of society. There is no place within our culture to truly exist with ourselves. The parts of our culture that claim to value self-love and self-care tend to commodify it in the form of relaxation products and personal development products — albeit helpful at times but mostly meant to addict us without true benefit to our inner selves.

As a young student, I talked with an orthopedic surgeon — a very overworked, ambitious woman — who told me to learn how to make it in the long haul, whether in my personal, interpersonal, or career life. You had to learn to enjoy yourself and find inner peace along the way. Because there would come a time, she said, when I would become guilty to take time for myself and forget what it's like to really enjoy life. Unfortunately, I made it to that point — I worked and worked and worked until I finally burned myself out. That's when I had to make certain changes in my life to understand how I got to that point and where I needed to go from there.

In the midst of our grand ambitions, it's easy to either go all in or all out. Either to give your entire self to a certain end or give nothing at all. I've been very much guilty of ending up on both ends of the spectrum — I would either devote all my time to writing/school or hit a roadblock and give it all up for a while. It felt like the value of my life was predicated on success, whatever that meant, in terms of contributing more and more and achieving more and more. It's never, ever enough, however. No matter what you achieve, there will always be a million more things on your to-do list. Whatever you triumph over, there will always be a million more roadblocks in your path.

The answer for me was to learn how to exist with myself, how to exist with other people, how to exist amidst all the dreams I had for the future, but also in the present moment where all my past dreams had come to fruition. Sometimes I would dive too deep into myself, and lose myself in thought, as noted in Chbosky's "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," "Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life." But I learned to participate fully, each moment to moment not necessarily enjoyable, but I find enjoyable moments each day with my friends, dog, boyfriend, and myself alone with a book or a pen.

Oftentimes as a crisis counselor, I am asked the questions: What's the point? Why am I here? What is there to look forward to? It's hard for me to precisely answer that question because, frankly, no one has anyone answer. But here's an answer that I believe in, born of taking time for ourselves: we live to feel the hope for happiness again. We live for the moments of joy, contentment, relaxation, excitement, pleasure, love, happiness, everything. We live to experience and to find each other. We live on because each new moment brings a surprise. There are many, many good moments in the future for all of us, even amongst the bad.

It's impossible to really experience life, however, if we're unable to take time to ourselves. That's one of my greatest fears, actually, that life will pass me by and I won't be able to experience each day as a full and complete miracle. There's something lost when everyone else gains from commodifying all aspects of our lives. Are you going to keep living for everyone else, or will you learn to exist for yourself? Do you owe the world your entire self, or can you take back at least some of yourself right now? Is it selfish to feel happy and not only to suffer?

Related Content

Facebook Comments