When You Love Yourself First, Everything Else Falls Into Place

When You Love Yourself First, Everything Else Falls Into Place

Self-Love Is The Best Love
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"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” — Buddha

Self-love is a concept that I believe has grown in popularity over time, especially in this last year. It is probably one of the most challenging concepts to grasp as well because people are so critical of themselves that they forget that loving who they are is OK and it is much needed. I personally believe that in order to be loved by someone else, you have to first learn to love and accept yourself and all your flaws, hence the term "self-love."

Most people try to fill this void by searching for love and attention from others, which is the worst way to do it, but we have all been there. I know I have and it is so easy to get sucked back into that place, but you have to constantly remind yourself that you cannot search for love in other things or people. I recently saw a post by someone that read "Self-love, self-respect, and self-worth. There is a reason why they all start with self, you cannot find them in anyone else" and it really struck a nerve with me because of how accurate it is. We seek all of these things, but forget that we have to look at ourselves for the answers, not others.

Now, self-love looks different for every individual. For some people, it could mean going to the gym every day. For others, it could mean letting go of toxic people in your life. The end result is the same, however, which is doing things to make YOURSELF unbelievably happy and not anyone else.

You could even make the attempt to talk about yourself in a positive light and be more conscious of the way you speak about and to others. The way you love yourself should be no different than the love and attention you give to others in your life.

Once you start to develop self-love, the less you will turn to others for instant gratification. The only love and acceptance you truly need are from yourself because that's all that matters at the end of the day. Whether or not other people do shouldn't matter. As the lovely Buddha once said, you deserve your own love and affection just as much as anyone else, so don't ever feel guilty about doing so.

Of course, there are going to be some days where you may find it difficult to love yourself. We all have our fair share of ups and downs, but that's OK. You aren't perfect and no one is, but you can forgive yourself and simply focus on the little things. You have the ultimate power to do whatever you want with the one life you were given and can change it at any minute. So, remember to cut yourself some slack once in a while and embrace the person you are and the person you will be as you continue to grow every single day.

Cover Image Credit: Brooke Tominey

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Today Was A Bad Day, And That's OK

It's the little things that matter the most.

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Today was a bad day.

I had a nightmare last night. It was so vivid and realistic. Some nightmares I can easily forget about, but this one was difficult to push out of my mind. I woke up in cold sweats, my heart was beating fast. I genuinely felt sick to my stomach. I wish I had never dreamt what I had dreamt. The nightmare really messed me up. It was all I had thought about for most of the day.

I couldn't focus on my school work. I definitely couldn't stay focused in class. I had a pop quiz that I was not prepared for, and there was already too much built-up stress from just the past two weeks. I felt like I couldn't go on with the rest of my day. To keep it somewhat short, things just weren't going my way. I was being too hard on myself and my anxiety was through the roof.

As dramatic as it may seem, this nightmare was too personal, too scary, too heartbreaking, and not too far-fetched. Words cannot explain how dark I had felt today. It brought me to a place I thought I had moved on from.

Today was a bad day, and that's okay.

I got a call from my dad and a text from my mom, both encouraging me to move forward and not stress. There was reassurance in my dad's voice and through my mother's words. Words reassuring me they would always be there for me and loved me.

I took a trip to Gino's with my roommates. That burger was hitting, onion rings and all. These were the "perks" of my day, and though they don't seem like a lot, it meant the world to me.

It truly is the little things that can make your day. Like a call from your daddy, a text from your mama, or a trip to one of your favorite burger spots with some friends. The littlest things help you put things into perspective. These little things came to me at a point where I genuinely really needed them.

These little things distracted me from the most terrible and scarring nightmare. These little things are the things that remind me to move forward, ever stronger. These little things are the things that remind me you can turn a bad day into a good day, but only if you allow this.

Today was a bad day and there's no doubt that I will have many more. That's okay, because it's about the little things that really matter.

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