Being the oldest child has never been easy. Having a sibling five years younger also had its ups and downs. Growing up, I couldn't stand my little sister. She was so spoiled and favorited. No one saw the horns sticking out of her innocent baby face (even to this day, no one sees it). We fought constantly. She would always have a big mouth about everything and snitched on any little thing she could find to get me in trouble. As I said, I could NOT stand the little girl. The few times we got along would never last too long... ever.
Fast forward to about a year after my parents started a divorce, I realized that I needed to suck it up and be there for her. So I did. I was only 17, starting my senior year of high school while she was barely starting middle school in a completely new environment. She was lucky because my high school was combined with her middle school. Because we shared a campus from sixth to twelfth grade, she had me at any time she needed me.
We definitely grew on each other after a while. Despite her teenage "big mouth" and attitude, I started to slowly see how fast she was growing and transitioning from everything going on. I was able to see and catch the insecurities and flaws within herself that I was willing to help her work and cope with. The main thing that struck me the most was her self confidence and fear of speaking up which even to this day is still something she doesn't feel 100% about. But there has definitely been a lot of growth, SO much growth in her. In fact, she is the bubbliest little girl with super crazy and dorky moments though she tried hiding that side of her for years.
So three years after the divorce, here we are... spending so much time together, helping each other out with chores and our dogs and always talking about the latest and greatest news and drama in our lives. We have started cooking together more, taking turns cleaning the house (even though she needs to be reminded), shopping together, going on runs, spending time with our cousins and just taking stuff day by day, always having each other's backs. She still has so much growing and maturing to do, but we are in no rush at all. I am very excited to see where she goes in life. Not only for her but also for me. To see where and how she gets out of the big gray area she, unfortunately, sunk into because of the two main people who were supposed to be her biggest supporters and "go-to's."
Little sister, you have taught me how important it is to understand strength and love within yourself and the people you deal with around you. You remind me of me when I was barely fourteen... realizing how embarrassing I was but loving the fact that you're all about it too. I am so stoked for you to grow and find who you truly are and have complete confidence in it, letting no one try to put you down. You are my best friend, my ride or die and no one will ever replace you! From us dancing like crazy to "Shake It Out" by Florence + the Machine when we're home alone to us always singing and dancing and being silly to Disney music in the car, at home, with people, or at Disneyland... there is no one else like you and I am forever thankful for that.
I love you Nessa :)
Xoxo,
Princess J
