Growing up in New York, I was taught to fit 25 hours in a 24 hour day.
Coming to Los Angeles, I was taught that time was a construct. One of the first things I noticed when I came here was how laid back people were. Large groups sat at tables outside coffee shops, talking extensively, regardless of the fact that even the ice in their coffee was gone. It made it seem like every day was a Saturday, like they had nothing to tend to, or anywhere they needed to be. It was calming, but it lacked movement.
In New York, tables outside coffee shops are rare, and people who get coffee and actually sit down to enjoy it are even rarer. Starbucks has become a place for homeless people to warm up during the winter, while people rush in and out to pick up their mobile orders on their way to work. Sounds oppressing, I know.
This feeling that there isn't a minute to waste is contagious. It's not stressful, it's encouraging, especially because you quickly notice that this lifestyle is not restricted to those who work a nine-to-five job. It comes from a need to have your work and personal lives flow seamlessly, without ever letting them collide. Even stay at home moms give off this energy. They need to make sure the kids are fed and out the door by 7:30 AM , dropped off at school by 8 AM, and make it on time to their 8:30 AM workout class, after which they take advantage of every minute they have for themselves before having to pick their kids up at 3 PM. Their kids then quickly start to mimic this lifestyle, and as they grow up, they start packing on activities, whether they be social events, clubs, sports, music, or even work, everyone has something going on. Sure, sometimes it's just a question of one-upping a friend or a sibling, but regardless of the motivation, everyone gets used to being busy, and having people around them be just as busy. Growing up this way may sound overwhelming, but it definitely made me more independent.
Always having my own, tight schedule meant that I functioned on my own hours, sometimes way off my parents', so I had to know where I needed to be and when, especially when I started being responsible for teammates, or even other people's children. This might just sound lonely, but in the end of the day, my friends and I all functioned the same way. Our days were split between the time we spent in unison, and the time we needed to take to deal with our own commitments. If you were that person that didn't know what to do as people slowly started leaving, you knew you had to pick up your own activity. Even if these commitments changed throughout the years, we were all used to keeping busy.
When I got to college, it was easy to get myself to class, a workout, or a meeting, and I jumped at several opportunities to keep myself busy, but I quickly realized that people around me were not on the same schedule. Instead of feeling fulfilled, I started feeling like there weren't enough hours in the day. There was no routine, no set time to be social and to be productive, and what was once the structure I swore by turned into me scrambling to accomplish everything I took on. Because being on a constant grind is all I ever knew, I didn't realize that it was mainly a result of the heavy impact my surroundings have on me. People's chill was rubbing off on me, and I didn't like it in the least. It made me realize that in the end of the day, being lazy would only affect me, but that should have been a red flag, not a green light.
It's way too easy to tell ourselves "so what if I don't do this ?" and decide that we will face the consequences of our inefficiency when the time comes, especially when everyone around us has the same mindset. I know I can't blame others for my (bad) decisions, but having a little hustle around you is way more beneficial than constantly being reminded that "me time" is important. "Me time" turns into "me day", and it all goes downhill from there…ask my GPA.
