If you know me, you probably know I have long, auburn hair and I have for most of my life, earning me nicknames like Gingy, Pipi Longstocking (I went through a phase with braids), Red, Little Mermaid, Strawberry Shortcake, and my hairdresser calls me a hair farmer.
My hair has always been a big part of my identity but I never really thought of it as a security blanket.
Most compliments, from the time I was little, have revolved around my hair. Whenever I mentioned wanting to cut it super short or dye it, most people reacted like I said I wanted to murder a bunch of baby animals. I can't tell you how many times I went in planning to get a bold chop and left with a minimal trim and layers.
I didn't know who I would be without my long hair.
A few years ago, I had a little bit of an identity crisis and traded my waist-length, mermaid-like red hair for a pixie cut and I hated it. All of a sudden, I felt like I needed a full face of makeup and a dress to feel even slightly feminine.
Before cutting my hair, I didn't realize how strongly I associated my own femininity and beauty with my hair. I struggle a lot with body image and my hair was the main thing that I had received a lot of external validation and praise for. Cutting it off was like taking away the one thing I knew I had going for me.
In the past, I said I really regretted cutting my hair that short but I don't think regret is the right word. I was uncomfortable and in the moment I thought it was the worst decision of my life but luckily hair grows. Having short hair made me appreciate my long hair even more and acknowledge that my hair isn't the only beautiful thing about me. I had to find other things about myself that I liked, like my eyebrows.
I'm lucky to be surrounded by some amazing body posi people who support and inspire me along my own journey with body positivity and self-love. I love my long hair and I'm glad I'm now more aware of my relationship with it and know I don't need to hide behind it.
