As a second generation immigrant, I realize there is a separation that exists from my roots. It is a gap I try to close by participating in any traditions from the culture that my parents love so dearly. I have made homemade piñatas, danced in bailes folklóricos, and attended numerous quinceañeras, among other things throughout my lifetime.
The more immersed I become, the more I realize the disconnect I have in knowing the true meaning behind each tradition. I also am not receiving the full 100% experience. There is a loss in translation. In Mexico, each event can be celebrated by a whole town of people. A Christmas celebration could take place on a street with different beverages and foods, as well as activities. There is more color and a sense of belonging because of the collective feel.
Being physically distant from the grounds of my people, I lose touch with the actual language that is used to describe each event I say I am practicing. I am trying to balance a dual world. One of Mexican authenticity, as well as the mainstream U.S. culture, that oftentimes has a global effect. I am either trying to fit into a greater society or it can be interpreted as a state of understanding and comfort in this American society.
In order to abide by these standards, I have oftentimes Americanized Spanish terminology. Or is this actually a way of fitting into two bubbles and creating my own that matches each one? A way where I feel authentic to myself. Like the word for cereal. I oftentimes said confleis, thinking it meant 'cereal' in Spanish. In actuality, it is someone else’s attempt at saying cornflakes, without their tongue pronouncing the letters R and K properly.
Upon discovering my inaccuracy in the word I used for cereal, I still cannot separate myself from confleis as the word for cereal. Perhaps this is the true meaning of being a second-generation immigrant. Perhaps I do not always have to live in a cloud of sadness that I am separated by the full immersion of the Mexican experience. It could be that this is the beauty of being a Chicano. I can possess two cultures. I do not have to validate myself from one place or the other. I can be authentically true to myself.
