Ever since I was a little girl I felt like something was missing and I was searching for this missing piece. This missing piece being my person. I can vividly remember when this search began and it was on my first day of Kindergarten. I can recall dressing up in my favorite pink shirt, dolled up with my jorts and white tennis shoes, ready to take on school. But also to scope out the cute boys and of course make a good impression. That search has continued to this day and will until I meet my person.
I truly did think I found that guy once before. A part of me was still searching in faces of strangers when I was with him. I tried to convince myself our entire relationship that he was the one and for a time I believed it. But I came to realize after my relationship with him ended, how my search never truly stopped because he was never the one.
We all have that first love, the one you swear with all your heart you'll marry. Then it ends and you feel heartbroken. Heartbroken that is, until you realize that there is someone out there who you'll love more than you ever thought possible. A love you didn't think existed and everything and everyone before will make sense. All that searching will make sense.
I feel that in a way we all search for our person, whether we notice it or not. We walk by strangers every day and I can't help but think others share my search. My search for my person in strangers faces with the hope of feeling a spark.
I look into the face of guys I pass and try for brief moments to picture myself with them or wonder if I just crossed paths with my soulmate and had no idea. I always wondered why I constantly felt this need to search in the faces of strangers for that feeling. That love at first sight in which romance movies portray, whereby luck you just happen to meet the one by locking eyes and forming an immediate connection. Maybe it's because as I child I grew up entranced by love stories. One, in particular, coming from the movie Star Wars. In which a Jedi named Anakin Skywalker falls in love with a forbidden queen and senator named Padme. Their love for each other was so intense that they created two children who went on to save an entire galaxy from their dark side father.
Maybe a small nerdy part of myself is seeking a love like that, not with the tragic, overly obsessed, death from heartbreak type of relationship of course... But a love so fully encompassing that it feels like everything makes sense being with them. A love that completes that missing piece and rocks your world.
It's exciting to search for your person and to find comfort in knowing out of the 7 billion people on this planet you'll be brought together with one to spend your life with. So as Valentine's day approaches, if you're single and reading this I want you to know that it's okay to continue your search. It's better to wait for that spark and connection than settle for anything less.
As I sit and type, I wonder what my person is doing right now. Maybe he'll be reading this article, or I'll bump into him on the bus tomorrow, or it might just be that I'm years away from being introduced to him. All I know is that I'm excited and find peace in knowing that he's out there and searching for me too, just like your person is searching for you also.