In the wise words of Dr. Cristina Yang, "Screw beautiful. I'm brilliant. If you really want to appease me, compliment my brain."
Being called “beautiful” is nice, don’t get me wrong. But hearing the words, “You’re brilliant” means so much more.
Because beauty won’t get me a college diploma. Curves won’t get me a secure job and a sufficient salary. Being pretty won’t get me respect.
Beauty doesn’t encompass the person you are. All women have natural beauty, but beauty can only take you so far. When I am most insecure, I don’t want confirmations of my physical appearance. I want confirmation that my work, mind and strength are recognized.
We grow up thinking beauty and male validation was the ultimate goal. Now, as a young woman, my greatest goal is to be successful in my career. I strive for knowledge, not perfect hair. I want respect, not a skinny waist. Being educated and opinionated will get you so much farther than just a pretty face.
Empowerment comes from my accomplishments. I feel so much more confident when I do well in my courses than having perfect eyeliner. Being a strong and successful person will give me so much more self-worth than the compliments of a boy. I’d rather get respect from a man than his affections.
As a young woman who has to work for what I want, I care more about the outcome of my work than what men think of me. Whether I’m studying for courses or working to pay off my student loans, my time and energy is going into working towards my future. Boys come and go, beauty fades eventually, but your mind and your inner strength will give you fulfillment for your entire life. So if you’re going to try and flatter me, tell me about the things that matter.
My whole life, the words of others have meant a lot to me. It seems that people chose descriptions like “pretty” and “cute” to make me feel good about myself. Compliments about my hair, style and figure were meant to give me confidence. Now I don’t want to be complimented on my health. I want to gain empowerment from my inner strength, my brain and my accomplishments. Screw beautiful—if you really want to compliment me, call me brilliant.
