One of the most crushing things for someone with strong romantic feelings for another person is to hear that person say, "I think we should just be friends." It's also common knowledge, in regards to the "Bro Code" at least, that being Friend Zoned is synonymous to being convicted to a life sentence of loneliness. Why? Don't get me wrong, for the longest time, I've felt this way. Heck, even now, when I find out that a girl I'm crazy about doesn't feel the same about me, I'm devastated. I don't want to be "just friends." I was hoping for more than that.
Just the other day, I came across a video from one of my favorite YouTube channels, "The School of Life." The channel, which actually stems from a much larger education service that offers lessons in psychology, philosophy, and just about anything else you can think of, makes a substantial amount of videos on sex and relationships. What I respect about the channel and what makes it stand out from other lifestyle videos is that they look past Hollywood's misconceived notion of what love is (I also recently watched "(500) Days of Summer," which actually serves as an antithesis of the usual rom-com film) and goes deep into the emotional and psychological state of the people who possess these feelings. The video I watched was titled "The Advantages of Being 'Just Good Friends'." In it, the narrator discussed how we demonize the phrase "just good friends" and miss out on all of the possibilities that friendship leads to.
The video makes a solid point. Friendships, more often than not, last longer than most relationships do. I was only with my ex from high school for one month after graduation (which is also how long the entire relationship lasted). Compare that to the friends I met my junior year, who I still communicate with on a daily basis. Even one girl, who I had a massive crush on throughout high school, but came to the realization that we were only meant to be friends, is one of my closest friends. What if we dated and it didn't work out too well? There's a good chance that we would've never talked to each other again. Considering how close we are now, I could never imagine that.
The way I see it is this: If you truly care about someone, you just want to see that they're happy. My good friend of over 13 years once asked me if it hurt to know that the girl I liked for so long slept with a guy on their first date. While it did feel a little weird, I responded, "Not really." After all, seeing her happy meant way more to me than "just a relationship."
