It blows me away how often we are hurt by the words and actions of other people, but we don't have the strength or discernment to recognize where the line needs to be drawn before personal respect is compromised. A man continuously puts you down with derogatory language, hurtful tone, and you stay with him, essentially allowing yourself to pick up negative thoughts of yourself through his vision. You are continuously hurt by friends that talk poorly of you, or stab you in the back. You think you're being the bigger person by forgiving and keeping them around in your life. Just like the way we allow our thoughts to completely consume our focus and cause us pain, we so often welcome others into our lives when they too bring pain and negativity.

When will everyone realize that some people just are not compatible- in terms of both friendships and relationships?

Let me break this down for you.

I am well aware of the fact that my soul does not connect with every other person on this planet. We each have our own type of belief system, values; we have our own energy that we carry with us wherever we go, and when two people with opposing energies come into contact with one another, it's generally pretty easy to tell that it's an uncomfortable, sometimes unhealthy combination. And people are always changing, so their energies are always changing too.

You might be a very "rough around the edges" type of person, and something really spectacular occurs in your life that completely changes your heart from the inside out. You could have given off a very negative energy to someone who is more softer at heart, making you incompatible at that point of time in your life. Your heart softens by this spectacular occurrence and you are now giving off a completely different energy than you were before. And it's noticeable.

Just personally based on my religious background, I've seen this a lot of times with people who have come to know Jesus halfway through their life. I can very clearly tell when someone has been saved. It is a noticeable difference. It's definitely difficult to describe, but one thing is for sure- it's obvious.

All of this being said, not everyone can connect with everyone on this planet. And when your soul doesn't connect with someone else's, that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't a good person or that you aren't a good person. You could both be incredible human beings (I personally believe we all are because I believe we were each created by the hands of Our Father and no creation of His was not thought out, planned and carefully crafted exactly how he imagined it) but your forces are in such opposition, a healthy relationship can simply not occur. There isn't anything wrong with this, but if you continue to try to keep this person around, it can throw off your sense of balance in all aspects of your life- many times causing you not only pain, but also confusion, chaos, anxiety and much more.

We all need to get a little better at recognizing when someone isn't good for our spirit. When someone is bringing us down (which so often happens unintentionally!). When someone is draining us of our energy so that we are no longer able to give our all to those who love us and deserve our love in return. When you recognize that someone's expectations for you are causing you stress and unhappiness.

We are all so ignorant to the fact that people often do have good intentions. When relationships (romantic or friendly) fail, we often times play the blame game. It's easier to pass off responsibility and put all the weight on a specific occurrence that took place than it is to come to terms with the fact that your energies were not in sync. When you dissect the relationship further, you will very quickly come to the realization that it is almost never a single occurrence that will end any type of relationship. Many times all of the things I listed in the previous paragraph occur because the other person is trying to love us the best way that they know how. In fact, I have noticed that most times people cause us pain completely unintentionally. Sometimes people do not recognize that they are draining us of our positive energy! Just know, It is okay to remove people from your life. And it's also okay to remove someone from your life very kindly.

Not all endings need to be bitter and cold. When you recognize all of these things I am trying to explain in terms of the energy we give off, incompatibility etc., you will live life with a clearer mind, more understanding, less bitterness and a more stable set of emotions. You will recognize that "goodbye"s can be kind and out of love. That recognizing your puzzle pieces don't fit together doesn't mean you're not still a part of the same puzzle.

When you recognize it as a fact that some people are only meant to be in your life through a season, to bring happiness for a time period, to help you learn lessons and to develop you further as an individual, all ending relationships will no longer cause you to feel bitter- the endings, although they will still be sad sometimes being that it the ending of an important chapter in your life, will actually bring you much peace.

At the end of the day, you can only give others as much as you have. When someone is draining you of all of your happiness, humor and positivity energy, you won't have anything left over to share with people you love.

I am a firm believer that you are responsible for building a community that not only shines light to your life, but also one that encourages you to shine brighter. I believe we are responsible for expelling positivity to build a positive energetic force that is noticible to those surrounding us. That people are able to pick up on the moment you step in the room. That can be felt and heard and seen when you touch, speak and appear. View the people in your life as a tribe, and you are leader. I encourage you to do some real thinking as to who is strengthening your tribe, and who is no longer benefitting your community. Make some changes as to who you allow in your life and be a little pickier. You will be far happier.