It seemed like just the other day I was a high school freshman open eyed, and eager to begin my journey with cross-country and track. As a middle schooler, I was never fully sure what path I was going to pursue in athletics. But being into soccer helped spark my love for running. Choosing cross-country over soccer my freshman year of high school, was easily one of the best decisions I've made in my life. This sport has allowed me to gain a second family, travel to states I've never been to, and meet some of my best friends. It allowed me to live in a different state for four years, and make some of the best memories of my life. Although everything hasn't been a complete fairytale with this sport. This sport has broken my heart numerous times.
When I transitioned into college running, my first two years were some of the hardest years of my life. Between being far from home, not having many friends, dealing with depression, and seeing no progression at all in my times was frustrating and at times heartbreaking. It was hard going from being one of the best runners around my area in high school, to being a little fish in a big pond. But my first couple years helped me grow a lot in my faith, and mental strength. In this sport you don't get a free pass, and chances run out. Going into my junior year, was a really big stepping stone. My work ethnic changed. I was confident in myself, I ran not just for myself, but for god. It was so rewarding when things were changing, my times were getting faster, and I was having fun with running again! Coming down to this past summer, I knew I was running out of chances heading into senior year. I knew if I wanted to hit my goals I'd have to work harder than I've ever had. A new training approach, higher miles, eating better, etc. seemed like a perfect recipe for a successful fall! Things started out great, I was in the best shape of my life, and PR'd in the 5k my first meet. I had super high hopes heading into September. But then I suffered a concussion in the second race of the season, putting me out of training for a week. It was one of the worst times to take time off training, since we were heading into bigger meets in the fall. It was hard, I lost some fitness, and doubts were floating in my head on the meets to come. At the time I was already diving deep into my faith, and it helped a lot! The numerous prayers I did were answered. It took time, but the 6k's got better week by week. My last cross-country race was everything I could ask for. I hit my goal of making the NCAA regionals teams, and even running a PR for my last race. As I was trying to take it all in with excitement, things came once again crashing back down on me. Days after regionals I was in a boot for a month with a stress reaction in my first metatarsal, putting me quite behind on winter track training. Just when I was fully recovered, gained some fitness, I was already once again behind the eight ball, right after a first solid indoor meet. This time It appeared more serious when I first got checked out. My doctor was convinced that I tore my meniscus in my knee, and would be most likely done with my career. All I remember from that day is sitting in my car in the hospital parking lot, crying my eyes out, asking God "Why again?" "Why can't I be healthy for just one season?" It was a very tough week after waiting for my MRI results, I was at a very low point. But I used the time away from practice and rehab to dig deep in my bible, I learned a lot of verses that I plan to take with me for life. One of them was Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." God did answer my prayer, and the results came back clean. My last few indoor races and outdoor season I have able to run healthy, and snag some PR's. I think these past four years, the adversity and hardships I've faced have helped me grow as a person, and as a runner. Being able to face adversity, and to persevere is something I'll hold with me for life!
In the present moments all those (6 am practices, hours-long bus rides, hard workouts and lifts, the sacrifices the sport requires) makes it tough. Or all those times we can barely get out of bed to run, because our muscles ache so much and the weather is bad. Sometimes we may catch ourselves asking, "why do we put our bodies through it all, and sacrifice all this time for so many years?" With all the hard work we put in, we usually receive good back. In this sport, it's experiencing that runner's high after absolutely crushing a workout, that seemed impossible weeks ago. Pushing mental barriers. The feeling at the end of a race when your on the ground, completely out of breath, leg muscles shot, and seeing a PR on the board. Personally, that moment is my favorite, and warms my heart up when it happens! Or when the team all blew it out of the ballpark in performances, and everyone around is absolutely hyped. Those experiences are what makes this sport so damn worth it.
Well, little did I know, hanging up the spikes and uniform came way sooner than I thought. In a way, it's a bittersweet feeling. It's "sweet" feeling since it's a time of happiness, where you're celebrating all the accomplishments, and good memories. But it's also "bitter" a little bit because you have to leave behind the sport that you feel in love with, and the family you created there. There are no more fun bus rides, no more practices with the team, no more team bonding, and no more races to run in the uniform. These are things that are easy to take for granted, but being a senior will change your perspective on all this, and to make the most of these little moments.
No one can say the transition to a non-athlete is easy. If they do, they never really were an athlete to begin with. Leaving the sport behind is a day-by-day struggle. Just like in practice, in a game or championships...no one ever got anywhere without trials and obstacles along the way. What I'll miss the most from this sport is the family, and culture from it. The memories you'll make in four years, the friendships from the team are all what keeps me blessed and humbled to have been a part of this amazing ride. This sport has given me tools that I can take with me, and apply it into many areas of my life heading into the future. Also It's helped my personal growth as I head into the real-world. The most beautiful thing with this sport compared to others, is it can be continued as a life-long activity. So I may be saying goodbye to my team, and the all the cross-country and track races in purple and white. I know for me, it's not a goodbye to running, but instead a "I'll see you soon."
