Saying goodbye has always been hard for me whether it was to my beloved grandmother at her funeral over the summer or my dog that passed away recently. In fact, I’ve never been a fan of saying goodbye because I don’t like to be sad. Why would anyone choose to be sad instead of being happy? I usually just stay in an unhealthy stage of denial until I explode with way too many emotions all in one day.
When I was in high school, my parents always said that they were going to move and build a new house in another state after I went college because all of their kids would be out of the house. I never actually believed them because at that point, it was just too difficult to fathom living somewhere else. Also it isn’t unlike parents to say that they’re going to do something and then not actually do it for like 8 years.
At first, I was really upset with my parents for making this decision, seemingly out of nowhere, to move. I feel like this house is just as much mine as it is theirs. I spent my entire life in that house. How could they just give up the house that their children grew up in? All of my fondest memories are in that house with them, my siblings, and of course, our beloved pets. I learned to do everything in that house like learning to walk, talk, read, ride a bike, etc.
All of my favorite traditions were at this house like when I was little, I would sit on our porch with my mom at the crack of dawn on the weekends because I didn’t understand how valuable sleep was at the time. Or all the days after Thanksgiving when we decorated our house for Christmas as a family.
That house is where I became the person who I am. I was angry that my parents didn’t understand why I wanted them to stay in the same place. I thought that my siblings would most definitely side with me because it was the place where we grew up, but my sister agreed with my parents and my brother didn’t seem to have an opinion one way or the other. That sounds about right in terms of how our family dynamic works.
It’s been two years since they shared their idea to move with us. My parents have been getting ready to put our house on the market within a couple of weeks and hope to sell it by the end of 2016. When they told me that a few days ago, I didn’t feel sad or angry. I think I’ve made peace with the idea of leaving my childhood home behind for a few reasons:
1. My parents deserve to be happy. If they think they’ll be happier living in a new house and in a new state, then so be it. I’m certainly not going to be the one to stand in the way of their happiness. I think as kids we forget that our parents have lives too; they had lives before us and they continue to have them after we leave the nest.
2. The thing is that the house really is just a house. It can be replaced. The people inside the house, however, cannot be replaced because they are my home. While I’ll always miss being in that place, I’ll always have the memories, pictures, and embarrassing family videos to remind me of why that place is so special to me. Our new house won’t have nearly the impact on me as my old house, but my family will be there and that’s all that matters anyway.
