Some of you have opened this link expecting to find profound words from some esteemed text, whether it be the Bible or ancient work of literature. Well, today I will not be sharing words from a dead man’s pen, but instead, just the thoughts of a plain-Jane woman from Central Iowa.

I’m sure that anyone who is old enough to speak has heard the saying: “hate is a strong word”. But how strong is it, exactly? I think that many are too quick to text or utter their dire hatred for people and things. Synonyms for hate include words such as loathe, despise, or detest. Before you read any further, I want you to think about this.

Who is it that you hate, and do you really hate them?

When I look back at my younger days (yes, I know, I am still young - think middle-early high school), I cringe at my bitterness. I hated people and I held grudges. I hated my first boyfriend for the abuse and drugs and lies. I hated the friends who seemingly turned on me. I hated the popular kids who made fun of me. I hated the teachers for not seeing that I hated the classes that were full of empty facts. I hated places because of what they meant to me. I hated the town I lived in because I hated everything in it. I hated myself.

It wasn’t until I left this small town that I realized what it takes to hate so much.

Every little thing I hated was a tether that held me down. When I escaped small-town Iowa, I began to see that all of those things that consumed my life were much smaller than I had formerly believed.

I forgave my first boyfriend, grateful that he helped make me who I am today, ultimately leading me to my husband.

I forgave those friends who disappeared. Everyone changes and moves on. Cherish the memories you have and let go of the anger of things unknown.

I forgave the mean kids. Their taunts helped push me to the level I am at today. Years pass, and I have no room for grudges.

I forgave the teachers. They try their best, and I see that now that I am old enough that I have friends who are now teaching.

I let go of the hate of places. Bad things happen everywhere, and so do good things. Almost nothing deserves to be condemned for a single unpleasant event.

I let go of the hate I held for Nevada, Iowa. As unpleasant as it can be, it has also given me some of my best memories. My hometown gave me my husband, my best friend, and so many other friends.

When I let go of the hate that I had for everything else, I found that I could stop hating myself. I may not be perfectly content with the way I look or who I am, but I no longer despise the shape of my body or am disgusted at some of my deeply rooted traits. When I gave up my hate of the world, I was able to give up the hate of myself.

Now that I have used the word “hate” a thousand times, I will give you, my dear reader, a summary.

Hating people, places, and things takes up so much energy. The effort it takes to hold grudges for years is truly exponential.

Hate eats away at your life, your time, and your energy.

I make no room for hate. Instead, I love. I forgive. I accept. Hate is a strong word, but it is so much more than that. It is a manifestation that can take over your life and make you think that there is nothing positive left.

I don’t care what you believe in, your religion or creed. I want you all to try something. Start small with giving up hate. Take a day to focus on simply not saying or typing the word “hate”, whether it be about bad drivers, your sister, or broccoli. Once you’ve done that, try a week.

When you’re ready, embrace forgiveness. It won’t happen overnight. I still struggle daily with forgiveness. But, just one thing at a time, forgive. You don’t have to tell anyone, you don’t have to write it down or tweet it or share it on YouTube, but forgive truly and deeply.

When you say no to hate, you are saying yes to happiness, love, and acceptance. (Yes, yes, I know this sounds cheesy, but hear me out). After you have given up hate you will realize that you don’t have the energy or time to hate.

I don’t have the time for hate, or the energy. I am too busy enjoying my family, worrying about and giggling with my daughter, and bearing my soul to total strangers through my writing. I’ve said no to hate, and I truly hope that you will join me.