In this world, there are many people who, unfortunately, seem like they need some sort of "saving" or "guidance." I learned the hard way you can't save them all, and if you're anything like me, you want to help anyone who comes into your life that may seem like they need you. They don't.
This past winter, I happened to reconnect with one of my old friends, I hadn't talked to them in about six months and they reached out to me just after my grandfather passed away to share their condolences and make up for lost time. Nothing bad happened before, we just drifted apart; I went to college in another state and they were in their last year of high school still.
We reconnected and eventually became best friends again. But shortly after, our friendship turned into them always asking for rides to their significant others house a couple towns over, rides to the mall, to work, to school, to the doctor, all these places with no offer for gas money or even a thank you. They began asking me for money for food, even though they had money of their own, as well as money for other things like clothes at the mall or money to pay off bills. At first, I felt bad so I helped out, but as time went on, I began to feel used.
That brings us to this past weekend, we went to a concert and I left early because the mass amounts of marijuana at the concert made me feel sick and uncomfortable since I don't smoke. I offered to come back for them and the others at the end since I brought them there and I felt it was right to do. Plans got messy and we got into an argument where they told me I only care about myself. I then realized that no matter how much I did for them, or anyone that I felt needed "saving," they weren't going to recognize the help I had given them.
You can't save everyone. People who want to be saved will save themselves, people who don't want to be saved will not let you save them. I learned from a lost friendship that no matter what happens to that person, you can't blame yourself, you can't stress over making sure they get to school on time or eat enough or have enough money.
You can't baby other people that are meant to be adults or they will never grow up. You can't hope and pray that one day that person will change because they won't unless they want to. And you can't drain your bank account to make sure they are okay before you are. You can't sit there waiting for a thank you that will never come because it will eat away at you. You can't let yourself get used by someone who says that they're your friend, that's not what friends do.
They don't want to be saved, they want you to do everything for them as long as they can get you to and unfortunately there are a lot of people out there like that.
And in the end of it all, you end up getting hurt. So take it from me, a person who tried to save many people that called themselves my "friends"... You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.
