One of the best parts of the Christmas season is watching all of the Christmas movies to get you in the spirit of the season. I usually am not a big fan of re-watching movies, but when it comes to Christmas movies, like many other people, I re-watch them every year.
Well as I get older I pickup on more and more the more adult jokes that are hidden in predominantly family movies. Two of my favorites are "Santa Clause" and "The Grinch." Let’s compare the two as they fight it out for dirtiest Christmas movie.
Opening blow
Tim Allen stars as Santa Claus in the movie likewise named. There were multiple sequels that followed, but the original classic is hands down the best. One of the best scenes is when Tim Allen (Santa Claus) puts on the Santa suit and shortly after starts flying with his bag. His son says: “Woah! You’re flying!” to which Tim Allen replies, “It’s okay, I’m used to it. I lived through the '60s.” Drugs beats alcohol and Santa Claus’s reference to flying high in the '60s with his psychedelics and other drugs gives him the edge.
Counter-punch
In "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," Jim Carrey (the Grinch) is invited down to town by Cindy Lou Who to receive a reward for Christmas spirit, as he is the most in need of some. Hilarity ensues and one of my favorite lines follows: “All right. I’ll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me… Grab a handful of popcorn shrimp and blow out of there. But what if it’s a cruel prank? What if it’s a cash bar? HOW DARE THEY?” As college students we are no strangers to parties and there’s no better party than one that has an open bar. BYOB is probably the next best option as you can bring your own cheap booze to the Christmas party, but nothing is worse than a cash bar! You can’t pay with credit, you can’t have a tab, you pay for overpriced drinks and you have to tip the bartender. This travesty and mild drinking reference makes this joke so great and for the adult crowd.
Knocked down to the Knees
This scene you really have to go
digging for as it is only on the VHS version and actually cut from DVD and
obviously TV broadcasts. The scene is where Scott (Tim Allen) receives a phone
number on a piece of paper reading “(1-800 SPANK ME)” and Scott says, “I know
that number.” While inappropriate for a kids movie, it’s not exactly the
dirtiest or funniest joke until Disney found out that “1-800 SPANK ME” was a
real phone-sex service. You think someone might have checked up on that before
hand. Disney went on to cut the scene and actually tried to buy rights to the
phone number so they could cancel it.
On the Back, Knockout
That was pretty dirty and quite the
mess, but "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" wins the fight with this scene and it’s
a double-shot. In the baby Grinch scene there is first a cheating reference
when a man says that his baby looks like his wife’s boss. That’s shot number
one, but the much worse one comes when the Grinch’s baby basket lands in a tree
outside a party. The party seems to be a key party. What is a key party you
say? Well, apparently at these parties everyone puts their keys in the bowl.
People draw from the bowl and whoever’s keys you draw you go home with that
night. There you have it, a swinger’s reference in the Grinch. This might
explain why the other baby looked liked the wife’s boss and why all the babies
come on the same night…
