Freshman year of college I prayed so hard to whoever listened to please, let these four years fly. Please let all the hard parts of school be over, please let me make it out of this nursing program alive, let me start my life.

Well, here I am with my final semester of my undergrad starting in a few short days. And, I couldn't be more sad, excited and absolutely scared. I wanted school to be over, I thought I had enough of the exams and the papers and the last night cramming. But after four years of being a student, lots of partying, a couple heartbreaks, a study abroad, and a career change, I feel like I just got good at being a student.

I love it, its become a part of my identity and honestly, I wish I had more time.

I couldn't wait to get to this point, I have been nothing short of excited to finally close this chapter and begin my career, to start a new adventure in life. But, as August has aggressively passed by, I feel anxious. I'm nervous to actually be apart of the world and not in my isolated bubble here at Rhode Island College. Everything became safe because I've got it down to a science.

But, as I began ordering books, I found that I actually can't bring myself to pay for them because I don't want the book shopping to end, the Staples runs to die, or for this to be my last ever syllabus week. Unfortunately, you can't freeze time and as much as I love the feeling of picking new classes and learning from my favorite professors, I need to get out into the world.

I just never expected to feel sad for school to end.

I never thought I'd be scared either. I thought that applying for jobs, you know the purpose of the last four years, would be exciting. Wrong, so wrong. Everytime I start, I get knots in my stomach and exit out of whatever browser is up.

I know there is always grad school (something I do have planned for myself but not immediately) but I guess if you're feeling like this too, as you start the end, it can only mean something good. That, obviously, the past four years were something good to be scared to let go of. That, even though nursing made me cry, and I made questionable decisions on the weekends and I fell apart from time to time...all of it was vital for me to get to this point. At least if I'm scared of moving forward, it's because I have something worthy of being feared of losing.

So, here's to the beginning of the end. No matter how sad it makes me to do for the last time, I hope I also enjoy every moment... even the crappy finals week ones.