The pain of sacrificing our old selves is nothing compared to the joy of Christ living in us in our transformed lives. --A.W. Tozer
Today is sweet. Today, I am resting in the tender proclamation of my newness. Kingdom has come. It arrives daily, along with my newness. How rich is the joy that comes from our newness in Christ! How benevolent is the God that invites us to be washed white as snow! How wondrous is a Creator that is also a Father, a son, and a friend. Hallelujah!
As of recently, conviction has humbled and quieted me as I think of how selective my hearing is with God. I rest in and listen to what pleases me. It is not a new idea that there will be things in our human lives that please us but that we must sacrifice for the Father’s kingdom. The most prevalent example in my life is drinking. I love going out to a bar with friends, I love social settings, and I love it while I’m drunk. For so long, I tried fervently to change that desire. I have prayed passionately about this issue for months, “Jesus, help me to not want this for myself. Have your desires become my desires. Take this longing to be intoxicated away.” Those are appropriate prayers that he has answered in ways different than what I was expecting…but as I have wrestled with this temptation, Jesus has laid the word sacrifice in my lap.
Does Jesus have the power to completely take away my yearning to go out and drink? Absolutely. But he hasn’t, and I fully believe that it’s to paint me a picture of a daughter sacrificing desires for a King who has sacrificed LIFE for her. We must sacrifice similarly as we love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19) We must sacrifice because he sacrificed for us. We must sacrifice because we want to be faithful children. I must sacrifice because I don’t want part of God, or part of his kingdom, or a little bit of his joy or his grace. I want all of it in whole. If I’m not sacrificing and surrendering things that I need to, how can I fully receive him? If there are things in the way, how will I reach him?
I stress that it has not been easy. Because he is a good Father, he tests me to make me better, and these tests of temptation are hard. One mustn’t overlook that it is difficult to sacrifice our desires. So my prayer has morphed into, “Father, I really want to drink. Help me fight this, make me strong to fight this temptation.” The holy spirit has been nothing short of faithful. As I wave goodbye to the selfish, drunk Kristen, the woman and daughter of God that I was created to be begins to surface.
In sacrificing this desire for Christ, I have found an abundance of freedom. Simply put – it is so powerful to say, “Jesus, I am giving this up because I love you, I want to walk with you, I want to be obedient to you, I want all of you.” Surrendering has empowered me and pushed me to be a more unswerving daughter. It has made me more steadfast in Jesus. Sacrifice is me accepting Jesus’s invitation into newness. As A.W. Tozer stated, nothing can amount to the joy that fills us when we step into the new life Jesus hands us. The “pain” of sacrificing drunkenness does not even come close to the joyous new life my Father has offered me.
I encourage you to unpack these verses and their passages; they have spoken so much truth into my sacrificial life.
Matthew 19:21, “Jesus said to him, ‘If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.'”
Romans 12:1, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.”
Ephesians 5:15-20, “Be very careful then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
So what do you need to lay at the feet of Jesus? What do you need to sacrifice? Maybe you spend every dollar you get your hands on…you spend and spend on things of this world and it engulfs you and distracts you from Jesus. Maybe sexual sin has you tied down…you are enthralled by sex or porn and aren’t willing to give it up. You might idolize your partner, or a friend, or a celebrity, rather than the true Idol. Jesus already knows the darkness of what you need to sacrifice, he knows what is in the way, he knows all of it. Whatever it is – I encourage and urge you to seek forgiveness, to invite the holy spirit in, and to sacrifice. Your heavenly Father is inviting you into newness.
2016 has been sober and my soul is full of joy. I am awestruck that my Father shows me so much grace for my drunkenness and my desires. John 1:16 sweetly says, “For from his fullness, we receive grace upon grace.” In the fullness that comes with sacrifice, I overwhelmingly sense his grace. I rest peacefully in who he is.
