6. Blueprints For "The Wall"

While Russia was going through Trump's computer, they found an early draft of "the Wall," which is meant to solve the issues at the United States's southern border. This scanned document seemed to have been done on an IHOP napkin with a crayon. It's a decent drawing, but it's totally abstract.

5. Video Of A Spray Tan Appointment

I know we've all believed that President Trump possesses a natural, vibrant, and youthful glow. What he doesn't want us to know is that he pays money for it. His beauty is fake.

Next, we'll learn that his hair isn't naturally blond, he isn't in fabulous shape, or that he doesn't have faith in any government agency.

4. The Original Orientation Video For Trump University

Does no one else remember this scheme? His scam of a university that was sued for fraud and had a $25 million settlement? Does this not bother anyone else? He took money from people and offered them a useless education. People like to say that universities are a waste of money, but at least that education is mostly real.

3. That One Time Trump Respected Women

A rare sight indeed. Amidst sexual assault allegations, the Access Hollywood snag, and slanderous comments made during his time as president, it would be nice to find an example of him treating women (or anyone) with some dignity.

2. That One Time Trump Respected Another Person

Unpacking the previous one a little bit, the videos of him mocking the #metoo movement and disparaging immigrant families have been widely witnessed. However, I think what the world wants to see is him saying something genuinely, sincerely kind about someone who is not a white male.

1. The Secret Recipe For Trump Steaks

In researching the many ventures of Trump, I learned he had a line of steaks sold by Sharper Image. Reviews range from, "The cows should be ashamed," to "also great projectile weapon I cracked my wife's skull form like 2 feet away." I've heard it pairs well with a shot of Trump Vodka.