Summer is the perfect time for inconsequential, non-restrained, and brief romance. But, why is this the case? Is it the thought of sunbathing together and then walking down the beach hand-in-hand? Planning a trip to New York City for a night of adventuring? Going out for tacos at 12 a.m. and just talking about anything personal without the worry that either of you will start acting super clingy?
There is definitely a secret force that exists with the sole purpose of spraying a special something in the air, understands that this airy-mist mixes perfectly well with the heat, and waits until we all inhale the craving for some hot and brief fun. It's the thought that, especially since this is temporary, there's honestly not a reason to maximally enjoy this.
All those times made for your ice cream or Netflix-and-chill dates were for creating lighthearted memories between you and your summertime-fine-squeeze. The best way to continue that type of short-lived experience is probably found in the way it began: casually and freely.
What I do understand about summer flings is that they can be great and memorable within that limited amount of timing. If you've ever felt stuck about the ways to continue an easygoing "situationship" where the excitement isn't replaced by an uneasiness of "What comes next?" then you may want to create a few guidelines to this newly found amusement. Even though it's not supposed to be a serious ordeal, having a few tips can help you eliminate any awkwardness steer it toward a carefree direction.
1. Seriously, have FUN!
Like really, how are you flinging if it doesn't consist of creating the moments of pure and ridiculous fun? If you look closely at the equation in which acting with a minimal sense of reservation and no regrets are added together you'll see that flings are the end result. Part of the reason summer flings are so hyped is that they happen within a small spec of time, which should boost each of your needs of being as adventurous and carefree as possible. Don't act hesitant toward the thought of going with the flow, just feel amused at both the thought of and action of entertaining one another.
2. Have the "this-is-our-fling" talk in the beginning
Mentioning that you're only interested in developing a "relationship" that doesn't extend past warm weather days is only going to help you understand whether or not you're both on the same page. It's the one step that will have you both avoid post-fling awkwardness and make this summer as fun as possible. Just a simple, "Hey, I like you, let's not act like we're going to get married and just be happy," works, you know? (Just kidding, unless you're someone who was born being super funny and can pull it off, then don't say that. But being honest will help keep that fling-ting alive and well.)
3. It's probably a good idea not to fool around with someone you know you'd actually fall for
On the other hand, starting a fling with someone who you can definitely see yourself marrying in the future is probably not the best idea. Because after it ends, and you're not walking down the aisle together, any serious feelings that you developed for them may get in the way of transitioning back into regular friendship. Maybe there's a friend you've subtly liked since the winter, that girl you see pass by you in the gym every so often, or the guy/girl that looks a little basic and seems like the type that scavenges through Tumblr for oh-so-deep Instagram caption ideas. Decide to fling with someone that you like, and know that real emotions probably won't develop throughout the process of splitting ice cream cones.
4. You were both friends, so don't start acting like strangers
When it all ends, don't act like you've never seen each other before... Unless things went way south (like you found out that beneath their dope personality that they're actually a little bit too crazy on the inside), then it's perfectly normal to give them a hug, high-five, or smile whenever you run into them again. If you were friends that were loving each other's presence, then acting like you faked your death or didn't see them whenever you both end up at the same party one night is a stretch and unnecessary. The next time they tap you on the shoulder to say "hi" should feel like you're running into an old friend. Not anything more or less because, well, that was the whole point.
5. You decided that summer isn't cuffing season
As you both agreed in the beginning, neither of you are "cuffed" to one another. Acting like you're all boo'd up and wanting to explore the range of relationship opportunities with this person may either cause the other person to develop deeper feelings or become nervous that you are actually starting to really like them and cause them to biggity-bounce off into the direction of the next fling calling their name. (Uh-oh!) In other words, keep that relaxed energy going strong and thriving.
6. If real feelings for this person did come around, then why not be honest about that, too?
Let's say somewhere between that last carnival ride or late night drive, you started to look at this person differently. All of a sudden, they aren't just that basic Tumblr-scavenger anymore, they're a person that is superlatively awesome and make you feel really good. Here's a suggestion that goes against everything I've written about for the sake of keeping it chill for the thrill: Tell them. Open up, and just say that you wouldn't mind continuing to see them throughout the cold months ahead. Remember: Don't take it personally if they aren't completely on board with this idea. You'll find a new cuddle buddy soon enough.
7. Don't state and schedule constant reminders
Constantly stating that you're only down to hang like this over the summer is beyond annoying. (In case you didn't hear that the word "beyond" was over-exaggerated in my voice, too.) We get it. You don't want a relationship. Wow, it's like you've never said that before. You don't have to schedule specific check-in dates and times to look over at your fling-ting-crush while your arm is wrapped around them to whisper, "I love hanging out, but you don't think this is a relationship, right?" It's one thing to say this if you feel that the other person is beginning to take things very seriously and as mentioned before honesty is the best policy, but if it's a consistent I-need-to-say-this-so-they-understand-I'm-going-to-bounce-when-I-want-to, than you may (are) ultimately be killing the vibe.
8. Again, have stupid amounts of fun
I just had to emphasize this one last time, because this should literally be the foundation of your current and future summer flings. Because if your entire summer fling isn't centered around making corny jokes, cuddling with each other, and maybe even spilling a secret or two then you're just not doing it the right way. A tiny time-frame added with maximum amounts of highly pleasurable amusement is a part of the formula to love that summer fling. So, go for it! See where the wind takes you and just enjoy yourself.